The Other Woman. In Seattle, Mrs. Pearl Kendrick, 54, asked for a divorce on grounds of cruelty and abandonment after 64-year-old husband Fred spent three days in bed reading Forever Amber.

Refund. In Brighton, England, Mordicisa James, 42, caught with his hand in a church poorbox, explained that he had contributed to it in the prayerful hope of finding a job, landed one that didn't pay enough, wanted his money back.

Offensive. In Topeka, Kans., postmen, who take barks and bites along their routes in their stride, were justifiably annoyed when a small, impatient dog invaded the post office, bit a letter carrier.

Impractical Joke. In Los Angeles, Thomas J. Gant didn't see anything to laugh at when Thurman Lee Dawson gave him an outsized hotfoot with lighter fluid: he shot the prankster dead; the court called it justifiable homicide.

Shanks' Mare. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, during a week-long bus strike, a cobbler reported a 400% jump in business.

Endearment. In Lexington, Ky., a wife who wanted a divorce because her husband called her a battle-ax was rebuked by the judge. Said he: "Anyone . . . who is married . . . knows that battle-ax is merely a term of affection."

Specialization. In Los Angeles, closed-shop contract demands were being made by the Flea, Tadpole, Worm, Cockroach, Rodent and Bird Trainers' Local of the Trainers and Handlers Union (A.F.L.).

Doghouse. In Ridgefield, N.J., Warren William Whittaker, arrested in a municipal park while knocking together a hut out of public picnic benches and tables, explained to police: "I wanted a place to go whenever my wife picks on me. . . ."

A Matter of Taste. In Broadwood-widger, England, mystified residents, keeping watch after the town's windowpanes repeatedly fell out of their frames, discovered that hungry birds were eating the ersatz putty.

Degree. In Utica, N.Y., Archie Police, 43, pleading guilty to an assault charge and sentenced to three months, cried: "I'm not that guilty." He was allowed to change his plea.

Catechesis. In Chicago, Helen Kelly, 60, threatened with eviction because she kept eleven cats in her apartment, assured a judge that if he allowed her to keep two, there would be no new kittens: "I shall speak to them and warn them against it. They understand me."

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