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MISCELLANY

Frozen Assets. In Sewickley, Pa., ex-Sergeant Edward Wilson, badly in need of ready cash, finally got his terminal leave pay: $475 in five-year bonds, a Government check for 2-c-.

Out of the Blue. In Santa Cruz, Calif., T. H. Campbell returned home one evening to find that swamp gases, blowing over his house, had transformed its gleaming white paint to bright orange.

Woodlot. In Guisborough, England, Police Officer Joseph Wood arrested George Wood, haled him into court, got Robert Wood to testify against him. The charge: stealing wood.

Dogtag. In Chicago, Dolores McCrossen lost her dog, asked police to find it. Identifying marks: red nail polish on its toenails.

Dinner Dress. In London, a British officer, sick & tired of being told that fashionable Claridge's was all booked up for dinner reservations, made a turban out of a gaudy bedspread, phoned that the "Maharaja of Peshawar" was coming, swept into the dining room, got a table right away.

In His Steps. In Salisbury, Mass., William Murray tripped outside his house, broke his left leg, yelled for his wife, who rushed out to him, tripped, broke her left leg.

Body Blow. In Copenhagen, Johannes Madsen got hit by a train, was ordered to pay the state railway for damage to the engine.

Unmasked. In York, Pa., a lone masked thief waited impatiently for bar-owner Isaac Hulshart to hand over the contents of the cash register, suddenly whipped off his mask, dropped his gun and fled, crying: "You take these. I'm too nervous."

Alarmist. In Bloomfield, N.J., Charles Wilhoft, who had installed fireproof walls and floors in his house, hose and water outlets, coiled escape ropes, escape hatches and ladders, self-closing, antidraft doors, fire alarms on the stairs, decided to install a sprinkler system, "just in case."

Point of View. In Harwich, Mass., a real-estate agent showed a prospect some seaside property, was asked whether the water had much undertow, quickly answered: "Yes, indeed. The finest on Cape Cod."

Armed Force. In Savannah, Mrs. Violet Mackey, animal-farm owner, tangled with a four-foot alligator that clamped onto her arm, vainly struggled to get free, finally dragged the reptile into the house, got a pistol, shot it.

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