In Swingtime. In Wichita Falls, Tex., Golfer Moody Weaver took a practice swing at an imaginary golf ball, aimed too close, broke both his legs.

Singing Commercial. In Westchester County, N.Y., General Diaper Service added ex-Milkman Mike Maloney to its staff. His job: crooning lullabies by phone to fretful babies.

Let's Face It. In Alliance, Ohio, John T. Cheeks was down with mumps.

Conditioned Reflex. At Michigan State College, Instructor and ex-Army Major Charles Foo rapped ineffectually for order, finally brought dead silence and a class of ex-G.I.s to its feet, when he barked: "Tennshun!"

The Children's Hour. In San Francisco, after their boat capsized in rough water, five soaked, sputtering Coast Guardsmen gave red-faced thanks to their rescuers --a group of teen-aged Sea Scouts.

Pipe Dream. In Washington, the War Assets Administration had a screwy suggestion for postwar use of "The Big Inch": a route for Texas jack rabbits bound on the hoof to eastern markets.

Gallant Undertaking. In St. Paul, Willard Edward Graves and Mary Louise Coffin announced plans to wed.

Required Reading. In Atlanta, a burglar ransacked George Word's home, filched a copy of Forever Amber, left it under the pillow of next-door Neighbor Sally Carter.

Trained Sleeper. In Buffalo, Douglas Mercer boarded a train, snoozed away the trip to Rochester. His berth: atop the locomotive boiler, beside a sizzling steam valve.

Let It Snow. In St. John, N.B., Meteorologist F. M. Barnes, scheduled to talk on "New Brunswick Weather," canceled his lecture when snow blocked all highways.

Mickey Finn. In Tacoma, Wash., a truant monkey for three days scampered through treetops, across rooftops, was finally brought down by a banana doped with sleeping pills.

That's a Joke, Son. In Huron, S.Dak., sober-faced Clarence Richardson turned up in court to contest his father's will, which left the estate to whoever could best explain why men, life and the Bible are all a joke.

Applied Psychology. In London, a busker gave theatergoers outside the Old Vic's performance of Oedipus a sly musical preview: A Boy's Best Friend Is His Mother.

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