The Bird. In Waukesha, Wis., three-year-old Geraldine McClurg asked her aunt how to catch a bird, was told to sprinkle salt on its tail, set out with a fistful, returned with a bird.

Semi-Private. In Cincinnati, a housewife suffered rude disillusionment after six months of confident belief in her special "one-way vision" bathroom window.

Poached Boar. In the department of Charente-Inferieure, France, the prefect viewed with alarm a new hunting technique: digging up German land mines, reburying them in boar-filled woods.

Sausage-Meat Machine. In Clearfield, Utah, Fred Stewart tried to start his car, got only a grinding noise, looked under the hood, found an ex-cat in the fan.

That Ain't Hay. In Lindsay, Ont., Elmer Jewell was found guilty of starving his livestock. Evidence: a calf ate a horse's tail.

Extracurricular Activity. In Madison, Wis., veteran-on-campus David Stimple brought his baby to class because his wife was sick, had note-taking trouble when baby insisted on 1) sitting on his notebook, 2) shouting down the professor.

That'll Teach You. In Phoenix, Ariz., Motorist Victor Nunez crashed into Mrs. Franklin Daley, blamed his car, lacerated his fist by angrily punching in its windshield and side window.

Noble Gesture. In Winter Park, Fla., a car parked in a garage 1) caught fire, 2) coughed into action, 3) neatly backed itself out, 4) burned up, 5) left the garage unscathed.

True Confession. In Bristol, England, the Midland Bank got a chewed-up letter, on its envelope a faintly apologetic note from the postoffice: "Eaten by snails in the letter box."

Dead Issue. In Rio de Janeiro, two widows met for the first time at a funeral parlor, had a short talk, then a good cry. Reason: they mourned the same man.

Oops. Near Llao-Llao, Argentina, when the Hotel Tronador missed its tame puma, an attendant sallied into the forest, wondered why the puma he caught acted so annoyed, fainted dead away when he discovered that in his absence the pet had come back.

Thanks. In Chicago, while Mason James Anderson hurtled groundward from a 14th-floor scaffold, Coworker Philip Walsh twirled a rope, lassoed him in midair, deposited him on the sidewalk practically unhurt.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.