Seashore Idyl. In Manhattan Beach, Calif., a sea lion, devoted to Mrs. Ruby Bigelow after she had ungummed his tarred-up jaws, flopped after her all over town, took no notice when she repeatedly led him to the ocean and nudged him in, finally wore down her resistance, became her pet.

Informer. In Tulsa, sheriff's deputies watched a drunken pig lurch down the street, followed it straight to the drainpipe of a still.

File & Remember. In Shanghai, perplexed municipal authorities asked the Ministry of the Interior how to explain on census forms the family status of concubines. The prompt answer: write it in under "Noted for future reference."

Plain Talk. In Tampa, a student found a straight question on a school form ("Father's Occupation?"), gave it a straight answer ("Bum").

Change of Heart. In Chicago, Gallic Morris, former principal of the Rincon (Ga.) High School, was spotted in a burlesque chorus: third girl from the left, front row.

Pacing Tom. In Seattle, Proud Papa Tom Herbert's check for his wife's hospital expenses bounced. Reason: he signed it "Tom Hospital."

Gone. In Jacksonville, Ill., as an auctioneer intoned "Going--going--going--gone," 40 customers fell through the floor.

Omnibuster. In London, Ernest Meadow leaped into the driver's seat of an idling bus, caromed off through traffic, ignoring passengers' protests", later explained: he was in a hurry to get to Victoria Station.

Lurch & a Prayer. In Gary, Mrs. Lylas Hazllett, her car stalled in front of an onrushing train, 1) ordered two riders to bail out, 2) went into gear, 3) stepped on the starter, 4) advanced in painful lurches, 5) lost her rear bumper.

Cream Pie. In Fresno, Calif., Mrs. William Rogers smacked her lips over the pie her husband had baked, stopped abruptly when she learned what he had used for shortening: cold cream.

Translator. In Chicago, Arpad Sabados told how he had reached his noth birthday: "Whenever a doctor gave me a prescription, I translated it to mean a drink of beer."

Winded. In Downing, Mo., John Barker celebrated his 100th birthday with a two-mile hike, did all right except once: the wind blew him down.

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