O Tempora

Stouthearted Britons might well cry, with Dr. Johnson, "Old England is lost!" From London last week came dread tidings of a changing land: tj In a report deemed a "classic" by Minister Sir Guy Nott-Bower, the British Ministry of Fuel and Power launched an all-out attack on Britain's 28 million-odd cherished open fireplaces. The filthy things, said the report, not only waste coal and give no heat, but definitely bring on lung diseases. * Recommended: central heating with gas, electricity or "other systems that burn smokeless, solid fuel."

P: Britain's railway carriages, once almost as hushed as an Anglican church, were becoming regular gabfest resorts. In an editorial advocating "silence" compartments, the Times chattered: "It is possible for six people to travel together . . . without any . . . shattering conversational interlude. But there is no certainty, and all meditation . . . may be destroyed by the chance presence of a single chatterer. Indeed a journey often affords shocking examples of the horrors of loquacity...."

P: The House of Commons, still quivering over a woman who had dared to appear in the visitors' gallery wearing purple slacks and bright green shoes, nevertheless decided to condone such costumes. Reasoned the M.P.s: the Government had encouraged slack-wearing during the war; it was scarcely fair to apply narrower standards to visitors who come "to listen to our debates."

* The national noise of Britain early on a winter morning is a compound of hawk, cough and nose-blow. Wrote 17th-Century Doctor-Author Sir Thomas Browne: "The ancient inhabitants of this island were less troubled with coughs when they went naked and lived in caves."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.