Nobody's Moo Cow

After attending a service at the posh, progressive Eglinton Avenue United Church, a United Church minister in Toronto was invited to stay for the young people's meeting. When he went upstairs, he found the young people (with perhaps 100 adults present) bellowing a song, to the strains of I'm Nobody's Sweetheart Now:

I'm nobody's moo cow now,

The bulls don't react somehow;

Sunken hips, fuzzy lips,

My tail's too short and I'm minus a quart;

As I walk down the old cow path

All the bulls turn around and laugh....

Austere Rev. Dr. Alexander James Wilson, editor of the United Church Observer (circ: 38,000) in Toronto, heard about it, did some commendable leg work, found that Moo Cow was indeed listed (No. 15) in the young people's song sheet. Then he unleashed his righteous editorial wrath:

"How a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ... in charge of a large United Church congregation . . . can consent to this barnyard indecency at a religious service is beyond us. It is a travesty. ..."

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