Winged Victory. In Ottawa, Trolley Motorman George Boulay won a bingo game. Prize: 592 trolley tickets.

Tried & True. In Reno, Bill Crowson asked a policeman how much it cost to slug a wife, was told $50, slugged his, paid it.

Shot in the Dark. In Atlanta, blind Walter McDonald went on a turkey shoot, was first to bag a bird.

Dark Age. In St. Nazianz, Wis., after long postponed repairs were finally completed, street lights went on again for the first time since a 1922 storm put them out.

Clansmen. In Clinton, Mass., Mark O'Toole, arrested by Patrolman Martin O'Toole, on complaint of John O'Toole, was booked at headquarters by Desk Officer Edward O'Toole, fined $10 for drunkenness by District Judge George O'Toole.

Knight of the Rod. In Los Angeles, a holdup man took $80 from Attendant George Budelis, then telephoned Budelis' boss: "Look, pal ... I'm taking it at gunpoint, so don't fire George."

Hi, Son. In New York, J. H. Neale hired a tug, chuffed down the harbor, roared greetings through a megaphone to his homecoming G.I. son.

Whether-Man. In the Milwaukee Sentinel appeared this weather forecast: "It will be a little colder and a little warmer today than it was yesterday."

Irate Citizen. In Jersey City, Carl Thomas unwisely reported the theft of his car to police, who discovered that it had been stolen once before--by Thomas.

Piece de Resistance. In Southbury, Conn., Max Laboudy, battling his way into an obstinate shirt, dislocated his shoulder.

Great Day. In Washington, the Alien Property Custodian announced that he would dispose of a patent for soap guaranteed to leave the bathtub ringless.

Adventure in Contentment. In Indianapolis, Rubber Researcher E. B. Newton announced the latest creature-comfort for cows: sponge-rubber sleeping mattresses.

Crime Underpays. In Boston, Michale Kostecki lost his piano to ambitious burglars who lowered it three flights, moved it to a secondhand store, sold it for $10.

Blasted Event. In the Seattle Times appeared a candid ad: "Our pet terrier slipped her chain and so we're peddling pups again. Cockers? Bulldogs? German shepherds? For all we know they may be leopards."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.