Soft Life. In West Brighton, N.Y., Rita Clay became Mrs. Donald Muck.

Ill-Bred. In Salt Lake City, Mrs. Grace Irvine complained that burglars had not only carried off her portable radio but left a ring in the bathtub.

Armed for Action. In Glendale, Calif., Mrs. Chet Swital routed a would-be purse-snatcher by slamming him with a book titled The Lady Means Business.

The Ideal of Service. In Hastings, Neb., the Chamber of Commerce got a simple, heart-warming request: "Please send me all the information you can. Thank you."

Schoolman. In Philadelphia, James C. Mason, who helped build Central High School as a hod carrier in 1894, finally enrolled as a student, at 74.

Distwacting. In Detroit, Patrolman Louis Schlosser was ordered to stick to one type of whistling after the city council got a written protest from distracted office workers who complained: "One minute the whistle will go tweet-twoot-twoot-tweet. Just as you get used to that it will go twoot-tweet-tweet-twoot."

Official Business. In Ottawa, the Government wondered aloud why taxpayers objected to the destruction of surplus stock, revealed that a supply of saddles and harness had been periodically polished ever since the Boer War.

Rut. In Washington, Edward Robert Dixon was arrested on a traffic violation charge for the seventh time by the same cop.

Perfectionist. In Honolulu, a thief who stole a pair of shoes from the Bata Shoe Store returned next day to exchange them for a pair the right size.

Clincher. In Los Angeles, Mrs. William T. Caldwell II testified that her husband had such a temper that he had smashed several bottles of bourbon. "Full bottles?" asked the judge. Told that they were, the judge unhesitatingly said: "Divorce granted."

Bear Market. In Duluth, county commissioners who offered bounties for killing bears ($20 for adults, $10 for cubs) called off the offer after two months and $3,270 worth of bears.

Bare Facts. In Oklahoma City, police arrested a naked woman who refused to put on her clothes for the trip to the police station. She was locked in a cell, still buff-bare, finally changed her mind after sitting a while on an iron fixture.

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