Fine Feathers. In Manhattan, a burglar shinnied up a pipe into a department store, got into the men's wear section, became so fascinated with trying on suits that he spent seven hours at it, finally shinnied down the pipe into the arms of the police.

End Exhibit. In Bradford. England, a woman charged a Canadian soldier with biting off the end of her nose, brought the proof with her to court, preserved in a bottle.

Country Life. In Phoenix, Ariz., Harry Schmidlin offered for sale: "Two pair shoes, slightly used. Going back to Arkansas." Girl Trouble. In Alton, Ill., the parking meters were getting acute indigestion from a diet of too many hairpins.

Close Calls. In Goshen. Ind.. Walter Call was arrested for driving without a license, so Mrs. Call took the wheel, promptly plowed into the rear of the police car at a traffic light, was arrested for driving with defective brakes.

In Quest. In Goshen, N.Y., Democrats boosted W. Bryan Medina for coroner, got him nominated, went to congratulate him, discovered that he had been dead for three and a half years.

Stowaway. In New Orleans, Adam Hanks was finally relieved of the mysterious "stomach trouble" that had bothered him for nearly 34 years when doctors operated and extracted an old knife blade from his back.

Rolling Along. In Grants Pass, Ore., a taxi company celebrated the opening of a new office by giving away free rolls of hard-to-get toilet paper.

Never Say Live. In Santa Ana, Calif., Albertina Merriman, 72, shot herself three times with a pistol, turned on the gas, sliced herself with a razor, finally succeeded with a shotgun.

All in the Family. In Kansas City, Mrs. Gene Birdwell got news that her husband, listed as killed in the Pacific, was alive. Twelve days before, she had married his uncle.

Foiled! In Cincinnati, Samuel Brown left his girl friend in his apartment when he went to get some beer, took her dress so she wouldn't run out, returned to find that she had -- with his other pants and $196.

Sticky. In Wisconsin Rapids, Wis., ownership of a lot was transferred from Alma Gleue to Henry Gumy.

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