Dr. Gubbins

"What's wrong with that silly little mind of yours? Eh? What are you worry ing about? V-bombs? Fish queues? In come tax? Your health?"

War-weary Britons last fortnight read these piquant queries in their favorite column--Nat Gubbins' "Sitting on the Fence" (TIME, Dec. 18)--and settled down to learn what "Dr. N. Gubbins, the notorious Fleet Street quack," had to say on the subject of psychoneurosis :

"A man once told me that he shrank from meeting people's eyes and asked me why. I told him he was probably a crook.

"On another occasion a man whom I hated on sight told me he imagined he was disliked by everybody. Instead of asking him whether he was unpopular at school or whether his mother loved him or not, I said: 'It's not imagination at all. You are disliked by everybody. . . .'

"To the man who said he was frightened of dogs, I said: 'You're quite right. They often bite people.' To the woman who said she was frightened of wasps, I said: 'Who isn't? They sting people.'

"And to a young unmarried man who said he was frightened of women, I said: 'That's nothing to worry about. Go on being frightened and leave them alone.'

"If you are frightened of open spaces, keep away from commons. If you fear enclosed spaces, keep out of prison. It's as simple as that. . . .

"Don't hesitate to write to me, what ever your troubles. I shall probably throw your letters away unread, but you will have had all the fun of writing them, which is part of the cure. You will get the whole thing out of your system. And I shall have so much fun tearing them up that I shall probably feel better, too. In this way we shall all save our reason and between us build a fitter, happier, saner world to face the terrors of peace."

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