Monday, Dec. 11, 1944
Going Down? In Chicago, a 3,000-lb. elephant named Judy, on her feet all day doing publicity for the book department, nervously refused to leave the third floor of the Marshall Field department store by the freight elevator which brought her, consented to depart five hours later down a special ramp built onto the fire stairs.
Home on the Range. In Kansas City, Mrs. Paul Fisher found the family radio out of order, the washing machine smashed, the carpet sweeper failing, sighed, "At least the ice box works." Her husband opened it and the door fell off.
No Sucker. In Salt Lake City, Sally McClurg, 11, lugged 1,875 pennies to school to buy a War Bond, confessed she had saved her pennies day by day since May 1943 when she swore off lollipops.
Burning Issues. In Washington, the Treasury Department gladly explained that there was no legal objection to citizens burning their War Bonds as a contribution to the war effort.
Deliverance. In Patchogue, L.I., Postmaster Edgar Mapes, solicitous for his letter carriers, proclaimed that no mail would be delivered to homes where the family dog was not securely tied.
Permanent Waiver. In Kansas City, Nellie Wells, 15, told police she was through with her 18-year-old fiance, who won her heart, borrowed her purse (with $120 in it), left her high & dry in a beauty parlor having her hair fixed for the wedding.
Better Half. In Windsor, Ont., Goalie Jim Hogan stopped half of a flying hockey puck with his armpit, saw the second half skim into the net, protested when officials allowed the goal.
Model Behavior. In Manhattan, Detective James Costello, patrolling Broadway in the small hours, noticed a shattered show window displaying four dummies, three nude, one clothed. When the clothed dummy twitched, Detective Costello reached in and arrested one Albert Gibson for burglary.
Not That! In coal-shy Paris, chorus girls, shivering in their beads and bangles, asked for more heat, threatened to put on more clothes.
Snap, Crackle, Pop! In Granite, Colo., Bill Lane, unable to start his frigid truck, built a fire under it, ignited the garage, exploded an oil barrel, blew the roof off the garage, injured a friend, splattered the west side of Granite with burning oil, brought out the Leadville Fire Department, burned his house down.
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