Funnies. In Andover, Mass., three boys, aged 8 to 10, piled rocks on a railroad track, derailed a Boston & Maine handcar, explained they were imitating a favorite comic book villain.

Ten O'Clock Scholar. In Hamilton, N.Y., Radarman Joe Lee Wilson J.R. arrived ten minutes late for registration in a Navy refresher course. His excuse: "I was in Africa yesterday."

Ask Me Anything. In Chicago, Mrs. Rita Hatfield ran to answer the telephone, tripped over her dog, smashed through a glass-topped table, found that the person on the wire was making a home-accident insurance survey, had to admit she was uncovered.

No Quarter. In St. Louis, Inez Bock served a customer four soft-boiled eggs when he ordered three, refused to take back the fourth, hurled the whole order at him when he tried to walk out.

Corn Cobbers. In Manhattan, two Australian flyers, tired of waiting for travel orders home, applied for New Jersey farm jobs.

Decoy. In Houston, nine women watched a policeman arrest another woman in the middle of a crowded street, rushed into the street to get a closer view, were all arrested, like the first, for jay walking.

Gamut. In Montana, Mary Flynn began her teaching career in a town named Paradise, ended it in one called Hell Gate.

Help. In Washington, D.C., Alabama's Senator Lister Hill got an S O S from his daughter, a message saying, "Call Mamie at once or she may quit. Love, Little Henrietta." The Senator immediately phoned his cook, in Montgomery, Ala., persuaded her to stay.

Dragnet. In Salt Lake City, a would-be burglar was beaned with a coffee pot at the Johnsons' house, fell through a glass door at the Wakes', was caught by the Drurys' daughter, Fern.

Dog's Best Friend. In London, Solicitor George W. R. Thomson paid the magistrate's court -L-461, a pound a day for each day he had spared his chow's life after the court ordered the dog killed, complained that the next -L-343 might bankrupt him.

The Old Lady. In Atlantic City, WAC Pfc. (Mrs.) Birdie Hyland reported back three days early from a Boston furlough, badly needing to rest up after a meeting with her son Robert, a corporal, also on leave.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.