Brotherly Greed

Three Southern Senators not noted for their broad view of the world last week began to feel the inward stirrings of manifest destiny.

Up to the rostrum went a brief resolution from Tennessee's Kenneth McKellar, the premier spoilsman of the Senate. It carried diplomatic dynamite. Modestly, it called on the U.S. to acquire:

P: All 1 ,400 Jap-mandated islands in the Pacific (including the Carolines, Marshalls and Marianas), plus the Bonin Islands, Marcus, Ryukyu and Formosa.

P: Bermuda and all other islands in the West Indies now owned by European nations (the Bahamas, Jamaica, Antigua, Trinidad, Curac,ao, Guadeloupe, etc.).

P: The Galapagos Islands, off South America (now owned by Ecuador).

The resolution went unnoticed for all of an hour. Then North Carolina's Robert Rice Reynolds gained the floor. This was obviously something which demanded attention from the distinguished chairman of the Military Affairs Committee--otherwise known as "Buncombe Bob."

Bob Reynolds adjusted his bow tie, thanked the distinguished Senator from Tennessee. He liked the McKellar resolution so well he read it to the Senate again. Then he opened up:

"But, Mr. President, I go further than Bermuda. I think we ought to take Bimini and Nassau, only about 50 miles off the coast of Florida. ... We should not only take the islands which belong to the British there, but we should discuss the appraised value of those islands and deduct their value from what Great Britain owes us as a result of World War I and World War II. ...

"Mr. President, insofar as our brothers of France are concerned, they are now very grateful for all the assistance we have given them. I think we should ask them to let us have the two small islands off the coast of Newfoundland, the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon. They are quite small, but we could use them to good advantage. ... We should have them appraised. ..."

His imagination skimming about the North Atlantic, Bob Reynolds had another brain wave: "And if possible, we should make some agreement of a friendly nature to get a portion of ... Greenland and Iceland. . . ."

This was all very gratifying to Senator McKellar, except that Bob Reynolds seemed to be running for a touchdown with McKellar's ball. Hastily Senator McKellar rose to explain that he had intended to make a speech later on, expanding his ideas. But when it came to islands around the Panama Canal, he was for taking them all. And it might be, he added, that the U.S. would need some islands farther north. He just wanted to assure the distinguished Senator from North Carolina that the resolution could always be amended to take in more territory.

Senator Reynolds: "Certainly. . . . And I rather imagine that the Senator had in mind the acquisition of Cocos Island, which is owned by Costa Rica. . . ."

Senator McKellar: "All the islands in the Atlantic and Pacific near the Panama Canal are included."

The conversation was as heady as old bourbon to Kentucky's "Happy" Chandler. After all, he had made a trip around the world; he knew the U.S. need for more territory. Cried he: "I just want to assure the Senator from Tennessee and the Senator from North Carolina that I will be with them when the showdown comes. . . ."

Senator Reynolds: "Mr. President, the Senator's statement has certainly been a fine one. I know the Senator from Tennessee is greatly encouraged by it."

Senator McKellar: "Indeed, I am."

But Buncombe Bob Reynolds, a man of free-wheeling imagination, now launched out anew, this time south of the border. "Mr. President . . . there are a couple of vast areas lying just north of Brazil which belong to the French and the British. By the way, the third parcel of land belongs to the Dutch. There are three different countries located on the coast. One belongs to the British, one to the Dutch and one to the French. All of them owe money to the United States and we might respectfully request of them that they let us have such coastal areas as we may want for our protection and for the protection of our brothers in the southern portion of this hemisphere. . . ."

By now, Bob Reynolds was aglow with brotherly greed. He continued: "The Ecuadorians are very fine people. I have found them to be very friendly persons who really appreciate our friendship. I believe they could be shown that it would be to their advantage for us to be the possessors of the Galapagos Islands. . . .*

"And in previous discussions I have suggested that it might be well for us to take up with our brothers of Mexico the acquisition of what is known as Lower California. . . . There is a large and deep body of water between the peninsula and the mainland of Mexico. In that water a fleet could almost be hidden. . . ." Bob Reynolds had one more little matter to be taken up--Wrangel Island, off the coast of Alaska. The cardboard statesman waxed lyrical as he described the barren, snow-covered island, its possible importance to future air routes. The first landing there was by the U.S. Navy in 1881. "But now," cried Bob Reynolds, "it is my understanding that Russia claims it is her island. Now, while we are in good relations with our Allies, when we are all friendly and hugging and kissing and shaking hands with one another in good spirit, is the time to take up this matter with Russia."

All in all, that afternoon was about as satisfactory as any Bob Reynolds had had in his twelve years in the Senate. He bowed low to the chair and to Senator McKellar, saying: "Mr. President, I am really indebted to the Senator from Tennessee for bringing this matter up."

* Promptly, the anguished Ecuadorian Congress set swiftly about amending its Constitution to forbid the sale or transfer of any of its territory.

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