Checked. In Camden, N.J., Rinzey McBray admitted passing bad checks but stumped police with the alibi that he can neither read nor write.

Holy Cow. In Detroit, Fred Howe, charged with violating a city ordinance by bringing cattle into the city in mixed lots (two cows and a small calf), got the case dismissed when he explained that the calf was an act of God en route.

Ewetility. In Cleveland, the City Utilities Department hired six sheep as lawn mowers.

Fowl Fine. In Brooklyn, Joseph Asaro ate his sixth chicken in one day, had six more to go in 13 days to finish off his sentence for violating the sanitary law by keeping chickens in his house.

Calling All Cars. In Chicago, Captain Wilbur Kennedy of the state police heard so many complaints from harassed and embarrassed couples that he issued an order: when approaching parked cars on dark and lonely roads, troopers are to cough, whistle or croon a lovesong.

Whoa! In Akron, the City Council, dismayed by the recklessness of local horsemen, adopted an ordinance prohibiting riders from putting their mounts through a trot, canter or gallop within city limits.

Prohibited. In Boston, the Massachusetts Secretary of State's office discovered that Charles E. Clark, named a Presidential elector on the 1944 Prohibition Party ticket, had been dead three years.

Love Light. In Maryville, Tenn., there was considerable sentiment for lighting the town cemetery -- to make it less attractive to teen-age trysters.

Perennial. In Manheim, Pa., the Zion Lutheran Church made payment No. 172 on the church plot, in accord with Baron William Henry von Stiegel's 1772 stipulation: in return for the deed "one red rose annually in the month of June for ever . . . shall be lawfully demanded by my heirs."

The Milky Way. In Chicago, Mrs. Catherine Copulos celebrated her 102nd birthday, announced that she had quit drinking a daily glass of port wine, now takes a glass of milk.

Payoff. At Long Island's Belmont Park. Harold Holberg tried his best to bet $100 on the No. 3 horse in the eighth race, angrily protested when he received tickets on No. 4 from the pari-mutuel clerk, who refused to change them; when No. 3 finished first, Holberg took the case to court, finally won the bet ($605).

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