The Lower Criticism. In Washington, D.C., Police Sergeant Sheldon R. McKee, with a .30-caliber rifle, easily pierced a wartime, steel-jacketed, "bulletproof" New Testament.

Glandson. In Chicago, Mrs. Opal Casey, mother of two, complained of pains after nine months' treatment for "gland trouble." Her husband assisted. They named him Donald.

Trend? In Laguna Beach, Calif., lifelong Democrat Mrs. Leonora Northcross, 103, registered as a Republican.

Wishes and Horses. In Detroit, Mounted Police Inspector Perry Myers explained that he could not buy any horses at his top bidding-money of $200 a head because women "in slacks and in silks" are buying them as substitutes for reducing girdles.

Loophold. In Jackson, Miss., Governor Thomas L. Bailey signed an anti-black-marketing, anti-bootlegging bill which is expected to swell the State's annual income by some $1,500,000. It provides for a 10% tax on both wholesalers and retailers of moonshine.

Sponger. In Springfield, Ill., Police Magistrate William D. Conway refused to provide a man with a disorderly-conduct warrant for his wife. The man claimed that he always scrubbed his wife's back Saturday nights, that she never reciprocated.

Obligation. In Manhattan, the giant R. H. Macy department store explained "We feel we owe it to them," when asked about its policy of taking its livestock department's heifer calf, goats and Sicilian donkey named "Johnson" for after-hours strolls through the toy department.

Executor. In Trenton, N.J., Mrs. Mary Gress Kubery bequeathed to her "mean and cruel . . . husband ... $2 upon the following condition: that he use $1 of the same to purchase a rope to hang himself."

Low Ceiling. Somewhere in the Pacific, Marine Pfc. Lawrence I. Hanson went barefoot to save his last pair of shoes, while Idaho postal authorities mulled the weight-ceiling which forebade the overseas mailing of his new size 15EE brogans.

Unsecret Six. In Chicago, Mrs. Chesy Sodomire got a divorce on grounds of desertion, remarked of the six women who had been calling her to ask when the decree would arrive: "They can come and get him."

Sanctuary. In Chicago, a live 100-lb. pig fell off a truck, waddled into Ration Board 24.

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