Far-Fetched. In Boise, Idaho, Corporal Frank Goral won Gowen Field's weekly long-distance call privilege, stepped to the phone, called his mother-in-law in Connecticut.

Little Ferry Command. In Little Ferry, N.J., Police Chief Frank Trinka put out a dragnet for his lost, six-by-nine-foot headquarters.

Chase. In Minneapolis, theatre-owner Robert Pagel found his theater empty enough for him to locate without delay George Flett, who was carrying a live skunk.

Abracadabra. In Rio de Janeiro, Dona Rosa met an old friend she had not seen in five years, gave her the ritual hug (abraco&) of Rio residents, broke three of her ribs.

Proper Nouns. In Muskogee, Okla., the state university awarded an M.D. to Safety R. First. In Science magazine, the light thrown on optical crystallography was clearly defined by Book Reviewer Jewell J. Glass.

Tell-Tale. In Tell City, Ind., Silver Raley advertised that he was "doing hauling of any kind with old, geed up, no good 1 1/2 ton truck when it runs . . . charges are plenty high." Illusionists. The National Beauty and Barber Manufacturers' Association chided the U.S. Census Bureau for underestimating by some 33,000 the number of U.S. beauty shops.

Gastronome. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Koontz, whose husband Jesse complained that she chewed snuff, spit it on the walls, and dumped garbage in his bed, won her divorce case. The grounds: he had threatened to chop her head off for putting the wrong milk in his gravy.

Zoning Law. In Los Angeles, the City Council unanimously adopted a policy toward backyard chicken farming: $500 and six months in jail for the owner of any crowing fowl within 100 ft. of a neighbor.

Antlered Kingdom. In Rockaway Township, N.J., Dewey Pott thought he saw a deer skating, roped it, found that it had grown six-inch rockers on its hoofs.

Smooth Borers. In Yonkers, N.Y., 73-year-old, crutch-carrying Sweeney McIntyre and 35-year-old John Mitchell got into an argument over Mclntyre's daughter, went home for their shotguns, repeatedly perforated each other at 60 paces, spent ten days having the slugs removed, came to court arm in arm.

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