Scapegoats. In Rome, an announcer broadcast that the British had taken the Mediterranean isle of Linosa after fiercely defending goats fell asleep, had their throats cut by a limey midshipman who sneaked into their midst coated with a lotion that made him smell goaty.

On the Road. In Raritan Township, N.J., William Schmoldt and his wife, proprietors of a roadside restaurant, had their waiter set up their coffee and cake snack in the middle of U.S. Route 1. No cars had come by the time they were ready for their second cup--if they could have had a second cup.

Knows-Smells. In Pryor, Mont., a marriage license was issued to Owen Smells and Mary Knows.

Salesman Sellman. In Texarkana, Ark., Messenger Billy Sellman waved his way with a telegram through a crowd blocking the entrance to a shoe store, handed the owner a message: "Please, sir, I would like to get a new pair of shoes, [signed] Billy Sellman."

Licked. In Los Angeles, one Lolly Popps complained that a man had stolen her coat, purse, a check for $27 and 85-c- in cash.

Gleam. In Springfield, Ill., Policeman George Ford was bothered by bees swarming at the busiest corner in town. Then a young woman gave him her mirror and a method. He sent a flash into the swarm, swung it to a nearby wall. The bees followed the gleam.

Legal Practice. In Warsaw, N.Y., Doctors Henry S. Martin and Thomas Thomas boarded a train. They got off 6.2 miles away at Silver Lake Junction and took another. They got off 7.7 miles away at Perry, walked 2.5 miles, teed off.

Self-Discovery. In a village in Wales, Francis Davidson ransacked his neighborhood to duplicate an essential spring for an essential war machine, finally discovered that the one in his wooden ankle was just the spring.

Case Mystery. In Simmie, Sask., Helen Shipp fell and lost her memory. At a dance in Eyebrow, Sask., she fainted when a friend slapped her on the back. She and her memory were revived at the same time.

Double Trouble. In Newport, Vt., Frank Curran could not get gas for the 14-ft. motorboat he had built, even if he could get it out of his cellar.

Some Chicken. In Bermuda, an unnamed hen laid an egg 91 1/4 in. around the long way, 71 1/2 in. around the center; cackled, lived.

TIME, July 5, 1943

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