Old Institution Vindicated. In Minneapolis, Mrs. Robert I. Birch got her husband acquitted on a charge of driving past a stop sign by telling the judge she always drove from the back seat and would certainly never let him do such a thing.

Homo Frustratus. In Denver, Cyclist Francis Sargent, nipped by a dog, fired his revolver, slightly wounding the dog and his own ankle, was arrested for cruelty to animals, given a suspended fine, stripped of his commission as volunteer officer of the State Bureau of Child and Animal Protection. In Los Lunas, N.M., a prisoner made a jailbreak, leaped to the back of a horse, which promptly threw him off on his head. Deputies woke him up. In Santa Fe, J. D. Wilkerson wounded himself playing the musical saw.

Secret Weapon. In Madagascar, two South African soldiers captured three Vichyfrench ones by popping out of hiding, chorusing: "Boo!"

Name News. In Syracuse. Oassie Stimer had his name legally changed to Stanley Steamer. At Rutgers University, Robert Louis Stevenson enrolled in an elementary course in English composition. In Detroit, the Housing Commission pondered evicting Worthy Peoples for not paying his rent. In Portland, Ore., E. L. Aprill and T. B. Showers enlisted in the Navy. In Baltimore, L. B. Mercier was refused a job because he had no first name--just initials. On Guadalcanal, Lieut. Dan Gaede dived into a foxhole, landed on top of Lieut. Commander Dan E. Gaede, a stranger, who turned out to be a cousin.

The Sheltered Life. At Oklahoma Baptist University, not far from an Army flying school, complications were avoided by posting in the girls' dormitory an up-to-date list of all cadets who had wives.

Year of Plenty. In Orchard Park, N.Y., Mrs. Edward F. Schwabel gave birth to twins for the second time within a year. First pair were girls; second pair, boys.

Katharsis with Music. In Leesville, La., democratic-minded Marine Sergeant Arthur Rosett encountered a sign outside a nightclub reading, "For officers and civilians only," went away mad, came back with a sound truck, parked it near the door, played the Marine Corps hymn full-blast 55 times, made a recruiting speech, played the hymn 55 more times, read the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, found the nightclub empty, went away happy.

Horrors of Manpower Shortage. At Harvard University, authorities announced that unless more students volunteered to serve as waiters in the dining halls the usual midmorning snacks of chocolate milk and toast must be abandoned.

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