A Day with the Bruces. In Tillamook, Ore., one of Mrs. C. W. Bruce's children stopped her mother from throwing a blasting cap into the stove, got it to play with, fell to chewing on it. Father found out, gently took it away from the child for safekeeping, fell to prying at it with a toothpick, blew off two of his fingers.

A Night with Babcock. In Wabash, Ind., Orville Richard Babcock had a few more drinks, stripped to his underwear and slippers, went wading in the river, went on to an abandoned farmhouse, broke down the door, broke all the windows, tore down the banister, went on to an outbuilding, broke all the windows, set the barn afire, pushed on across a field, caught a snake, killed it, caught a lamb, killed it, returned to the river, kicked the windows out of a boathouse, threatened Ben Harris with a knife (crying, "Don't move or I'll shoot!"), went on to a cottage, kicked the doors in, tried to set the place afire, was grabbed by a posse. Cried the goggle-eyed judge who sent him to the State reformatory (with a sentence of from two to 14 years): "Biggest dunk ever pulled in this county!"

Toward Regimentation. In Ashland, Ohio, the mayor issued a proclamation making it unlawful for the duration of the war to complain on Thursdays.

La Vie Boheme. In Manhattan, Carl Leila patiently explained his wife's condition to police: "I am an artist. I am very temperamental. During the discussion over our matrimonial problems, I became emotionally unstrung. I bit off the tip of her nose."

Theorist. In The Bronx, Sing Gong was arrested for trying to rob a Chinese laundry by waving a .38-caliber cartridge, demanding money, threatening that otherwise he would find a gun somewhere, put the bullet in it, come back.

You Can't Miss It. At Swan Lake, N. Y., Motorist Samuel Liebowitz, a stranger, followed a native's directions, made a left turn on a bumpy road in a fog, presently came to a man waving a lantern, stopped, found himself out on a railroad trestle.

Sleeveless Errand. Near Chadron, Neb., a truck sideswiped another truck, sheared an arm off Truckman Ross Thompson, who searched for it along the road awhile, finally drove into town, stopped, fainted.

Recruiting Office. In Elizabeth, N. J., County Judge Walter L. Hetfield put a would-be suicide on probation, indignantly pointed out the enormity of his offense: "This is no time to try to commit suicide when our country needs all its available manpower."

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