Research. In Alexander City, Ala., a man tried to wreck a passenger train by laying a timber on the track. Arrested by the FBI, he explained that a friend had told him such a thing was possible and he just wanted to see if it was.

Send-Off. In Brooklyn, N.Y., among the tributes sent to the funeral of Harry Maione, electrocuted killer, was a 4-ft. floral chair.

Flaw. In Dallas, Interior Decorator H. P. Jordan flunked his Naval Reserve physical examination: he was colorblind.

Short-Cut. In Chillicothe, Mo., an amateur flyer lost the paper form he was to fill out showing the CAA he had dismantled his plane. Because sending for a duplicate form "would have been too much bother," he piled all the parts on a trailer, drove 100 miles to the nearest CAA inspector, showed him the pieces.

Handles. In East St. Louis, Edward J. Japps changed his last name to Sinai. In Birmingham a waitress whose first name is Pearl hoped to become a Navy mascot: her last name is Harbor.

Braggart. In Albuquerque, N. Mex., Daniel Jones wrote on his draft questionnaire: "I murdered a man." Arrested, he explained that he had lied because he wanted to be a sergeant, understood that the Army liked its men hardboiled.

War Effort. To conserve paper, Harvard called off the annual June Class Day confetti battle between old grads.

Platform. In Fort Worth, Walter Watts campaigned for the U.S. Senate. His platform: a $3,000 Government loan to every citizen between 21 and 65.

Address. At Fort MacPherson, Georgia the message center received a letter addressed: "Leon Lafell, Cavalry (I think), Camp Something, Atlanta, Ga."

Frying Pan, Fire. In Dunkirk, N.Y., a driver smashed his car into a roadside pole, crawled out uninjured, brushed against a dangling high-tension wire, was electrocuted.

Help Wanted. In a Rocky Ford, Colo, newspaper appeared an ad: "If you find a pair of boy's brown leather gloves lost near the library, please call Bobby Smith. You will save me a good whipping."

Music. In Chicago, John and Xenia Cage, tired of the old musical sounds, gave a concert with a beer bottle, a barrel, flower pots, an iron pipe, brake drums, thunder sheets, rattles, dinnerbells and buzzers. Mr. Cage played the piano with his elbows.

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