Shameful Deception

After a hard day, the doctor is comfortably settled with pipe & slippers--and the telephone rings. Does he answer the phone? Of course. But in the British Lancet last week, an anonymous doctor revealed a "valued little secret"--a deception not specifically forbidden by the letter of the Hippocratic oath.

"To answer in your own voice is to be left defenceless in case of an unurgent call, and few people can disguise their voices effectively. Now--grip the telephone in your right hand and your nose in your left. 'Is the doctor in?'

" 'I don't think he is, but I'll go and see. Who is it speaking, please?' says a strange nasal voice that you wouldn't recognize yourself.

"Lay down the phone and tap with your foot on the floor, diminuendo. That is Nosey going away to find the doctor. You may breathe naturally now and think the matter out. After a suitable interval you tap on the floor with your foot again, this time crescendo, pick up the phone, and (a) gripping the nose as before: 'I'm sorry, the doctor isn't in at present. Can I take a message, Mum?' or (b) in your own voice: 'Hullo, Jones, about that match on Saturday. . . .' "

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