Monday, Mar. 10, 1941

Embezzler. In Chicago, Louis Kronenberg was had up for embezzling $26,000 of his firm's funds since 1921. Fishing stocks, bonds and mortgages from a safedeposit box, he paid the sum back with interest. Said the judge to his employer: "Why not make him treasurer?"

J.W.O.L. In Shreveport, La., a Negro draftee who failed to show up when his board summoned him got a letter saying: "If you don't report for your physical examination, we'll be forced to send you to jail." He was in jail.

Tool. In Newton, Mass., a burglar arrived for work with a rubber bone in his tool kit. He gave it to the dog.

Paper Hanger. In Pasedena, Calif., Paul Cardinal, onetime trapezist, rounded out his eighth year (not too busy) as a one-armed paper hanger.

Morale. In London, a young fellow asked for a job and gave his name as Herbert Morrison. "That's a pretty well-known name," said the clerk. "It ought to be," the lad replied. "I've been delivering groceries in this neighborhood for nearly two years."

Policy. In Fairhope, Ala., Beer Parlor Keeper Mack Harris emptied a nickel slot machine, shook out a slug inscribed "HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY."

Curious. In Los Angeles, Calif., Charles E. Ellis, who is almost 103, declared that he wanted to live two years more "just to see what this man Roosevelt's going to do."

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