License

In Greenville, S. C., a man applying for a marriage license was asked by Judge Guy A. Gullick: "What's the girl's name?" Said the applicant, scratching his head, "I just don't remember, judge."

Selective Service

In Orange, N. J., a twelve-year-old boy scanned a list of draft numbers in the city hall. "Looking for your dad's number, sonny?" beamed the mayor. "Naw!" said the small fry, "my teacher's. I sure hope he goes."

Pension

In Raleigh, N. C., a 72-year-oldster asked that his pension be stopped because he disliked being "a burden on the Government in these difficult times."

Name

In a Manhattan police court a man with a County Down face gave his name as Adolf Hitler. Duffy, he readily confessed, was his real name. "Do you think Hitler is a better name than Duffy?" inquired the judge. "I only use that name when I'm drinking," replied Duffy.

Volunteers

In Chicago, George Series, 15, and Edward Mendenhall Jr., 16, went off to join the U. S. Army. They took with them: two bayonets of the Franco-Prussian War, one bayonet of the Civil War, one plain bayonet, one fancy dress sword.

Love-on-a-Dime

In Minneapolis, a fiscally-minded alderman urged parking meters for boulevards and lakesides favored by automobile spooners. City fathers spurned the plan, and Park Superintendent C. A. Bossen cried: "We have to encourage romance, not make it an expensive luxury."

Exhibition

In Cleveland, a luncheon club invited a memory expert to give an exhibition. He forgot to come.

Customs-built

Near Newport, Vt., Lawrence C. Parminter's house straddles the Canadian border. For papering the Canadian wall of the house with undeclared U.S. wallpaper, a Canadian magistrate fined him $50.

Gleichschaltung

In Toronto, a confused patriot armed with gun and gin marched a Greek restaurant owner and his Greek chef out of their cafe. His reason given to the police: he mistook them for Nazis.

Eggs

In Roswell, N. M., a speeding automobile ripped into an egg-loaded truck, sheared away two wheels, splintered the body, failed to crack an egg.

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