Askitoff (Adv.)

An absolute howl on the British Broadcasting Corp.'s Wednesday night Band Wagon is "Resident Comedian" Arthur Askey, who is a sort of British Joe Cook. Month or so ago Askey ("Big-Hearted Arthur") and his stooge, Stinker Murdoch, made a batter of mainly carbolic acid and turpentine for some cakes to discourage an unwanted guest. The batter was to be called Askitoff. In mixing it they professed to spill some on the carpet, whereupon the dirt magically disappeared. This was, Askey's cue to crack "Askitoff will take it off." Thereafter Askey began repeating the crack several times in each broadcast.

All over England the remark took like a Mae West gag line. One person offered -L-100 for the rights to it. Since Askey was under contract to BBC he could not sell the gag, but he figured on doing something about it at the expiration of his contract March 15. Fortnight ago, on Page i of The Exchange & Mart, there appeared a two-inch advertisement that angered Big-hearted Arthur and the BBC no end. "Britain's Best Cleaner," it read, with the initials in boldface so that nobody could miss the point, "Askitoff will take it off." Investigation revealed that an enterprising new outfit called Askitoff Cleaner Co. had patented the name, and apparently nothing could be done about it.

Arthur took revenge the best way he knew how. Said he over the air, before the BBC could shush him: "OUR Askitoff is no good. It burns holes in concrete. It wiped out six families in Birmingham. It won't remove anything from nothing."

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