"Names make news." Last week these names made this news: From oldtime Cinema Sharpshooter Tom Mix British customs officials at Plymouth took five rifles, eight horse pistols, will keep them until he gets a license or leaves the country.

Hearing that British Drug Tycoon Philip Ernest Hill (Beecham's Pills. Ltd., Veno Drug Co.) was taking the cure at Carlsbad, the London Investor's Review printed a joshing jingle. Excerpt: I've tried all Beecham's products, I've absorbed the stomach powder . . . Iron Jelloids, Veno's Cough-cure (but my cough got only louder) . . . And so I've come to Carlsbad, and I sip the filthy water . . . Proprietary medicines--are they everything they oughter be?

Arrested for imitating trumpet-voiced Songstress Martha Raye at Brooklyn's Manhattan Beach Baths, where she had a permit to act but not to sing, little Audrey Golub. 9, pleaded that she just "couldn't resist it" when she heard the applause.

Temporarily putting up his racket (which provides him an income of some $60,000 a year), No. 1 Professional Tennist-- Ellsworth Vines turned amateur, qualified for the National Amateur Golf championship to be held next week at Oakmont, Pa. His score: 150 for 36 holes.

State Department officials refused to give Cinemactress Sigrid Gurie a passport. Reason: although she was born in Brooklyn, the U. S. signed a complicated treaty with Norway in 1871 by the terms of which her return to Norway at the age -- Winner of 48 matches to Fred Perry's 35 in their 1938 professional tennis tour. of 3 made her a Norwegian, maybe. Experts last week were not sure what she was. Pouted pretty Sigrid Gurie: "It's untrue about Brooklyn not being American. Brooklyn is a part of this country. I'm certain of it."

Reporting an hour early for his first day's work* as a stock boy in the basement of William Filene's Sons department store in Boston, John Aspinwall Roosevelt entered by the wrong door, drew the wrong time slip, forgot to throw away his cigaret. Said he: "I'm really serious about this job. The sooner everybody forgets I'm my father's son, the better it will be for me. ... It sure is interesting."

Vassar's tall, pallid President Henry Noble MacCracken named the five Most Intelligent Women in the World: Angelica Balanbanoff, internationalist, author of My Life As a Rebel (TIME, Aug. 1); Halide Edib, Turkish patriot, onetime Professor of Western Literature at Istanbul University; Sarojini Naidu, Indian poetess, friend & adviser of Mahatma Gandhi; Mme Chiang Kaishek, Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Josephine Hancock Logan, who is pleased to be the donor of the annual Logan prize to Chicago's Art Institute but does not like the modernist quality of recent prizewinning paintings, engineered a rival exhibition of pictures to show "Sanity in Art." Among her placid lady guests and her safe and sane pictures, little old Mrs. Logan wandered, smiling brightly.

Said she: "Isn't it lovely?" New Jersey's former Governor Harold Giles Hoffman, who last year dropped a slander suit against onetime Radio Commentator Boake Carter, began a 52-week series of news broadcasts himself. Excerpt from his first broadcast: "Happiness and heartbreak, achievement and failure . . . are wrapped up in that thing, chiefly transient, which we call news."

*His salary: $18.50 per week.

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