Gorilla v. Man

That a gorilla can lick a heavyweight prizefighter--even three prizefighters--was a pet theory of the late great Journalist Arthur Brisbane. Last week, onetime (1926-28) Heavyweight Champion Gene Tunney focused attention on his sports editorship of the new Connecticut Nutmeg (TIME, May 30) by reviving the argument.

"The gorilla is a sluggish thinker," Nutmegaphoned Editor Tunney. "He only knows one attack. He goes after something and grabs it with his hands and then hugs it to his breast, crushing the life out of it when possible. . . .

"It is my firm conviction that any fairly good heavyweight boxer could put the great Gargantua [460-lb. Congo-born gorilla now on tour with the Ringling circus] to sleep or to rout within two minutes. .. .

Gargantua is a big boy but a Dempsey left hook landing on his stomach might figuratively tear the poor animal in two. . . . He didn't spend years doing bending and mat exercises. A man has 24 ribs. Your encyclopedia will tell you that a gorilla has but 13. Between the ribs, below the breastbone, there are nerve centres. If they are shocked the shock travels to the spine, temporarily causing paralysis. The ribs, and well developed muscles between the ribs, protect these nerve centres. Twenty-four ribs are much more protection than 13."

Challenging Gargantua in order to test his theory. Pundit Tunney continued: "Unfortunately, I am no longer in fighting shape. However, I would like to take up the offer [said to have been made by Ringling Bros.] for any one of a dozen third-rate heavyweights I know. . . ."

There were no volunteers. But Manhattan sportswriters suggested saloon-keeping, beer-drinking Tony Galento, first-rate heavyweight who is just half Gargantua's size (230 lb.), as a fair match for the simian. At his saloon in Orange, N. J., Tony Galento "deeply regretted" the suggestion. Meanwhile, in the merry ribbing that followed, no one had taken the trouble to look in his Encyclopaedia Britannica, where he would have discovered that a gorilla has 13 pairs of ribs, one pair more than man.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.