"Names make news." Last week these names made this news:

The Internal Revenue Bureau in Washington disclosed that President Emeritus Abbott Lawrence Lowell of Harvard University had agreed to pay $32,962 for deficiencies in his 1932 income tax statement, which claimed losses of $194,412 in sales of Kreuger & Toll stock. When newshawks asked him if he would give further information about the error, the 79-year-old taxpayer snapped a decisive "No!"

Because his current Scandals was beginning to lose money, Producer George White called the principals together, announced he would close the show. Most of the actors grumpily agreed to a cut in salaries if the show would continue. But Crooner Rudy Vallee, who has long been on notably bad terms with Producer White, protested. In the resulting argument, Vallee called White two mildly vulgar names. Without ado, the agile little onetime hoofer hit Vallee square on the nose--a tender spot ever since its reconstruction by plastic surgery in 1933. Said Mr. Vallee's attorney: "Rudy would have killed him if they hadn't stopped the fight. George White is a Maxie Baer. He has had too much night life."

Dr. George Alexander Morrison, Member of Parliament for the Scottish Universities, offered a teaser to test his colleagues' mental quickness, was appalled when the teaser was publicized, when his telephone began ringing as answers poured in from all over Europe. The teaser:

A man bought a pair of shoes for 16 shillings, giving a one-pound note. The shoemaker got change from a butcher, gave the customer the shoes and four shillings change. Finding the note was counterfeit, the butcher forced the shoemaker to give him a genuine note. How much did the shoemaker lose?

Brig. General Pelham Davis Glassford, superintendent of the District of Columbia police during the 1932 Bonus March (TIME, Aug. 8, 1932), began a 90-day reorganizing job as police chief of Phoenix, Ariz., where he has run a small wheat & alfalfa ranch since his retirement from Washington three months after the Bonus Marchers withdrew.

Having voyaged for a month through Hawaii, Japan, China, Cinemactor Charles Spencer Chaplin and his leading lady. Paulette Goddard, departed for Singapore. In Singapore reports circulated that Chaplin had wired his agent: "Do utmost to arrange marriage." Archdeacon Graham White sniffed, flatly announced that his Anglican Cathedral would under no circumstances be used to marry the junketing pair.

When the liner docked, the couple tripped smiling down the gangplank, amid yells of "Here comes the bride!" They refused all comment on the nuptials. Then Cinemactor Chaplin chartered the yacht Sea Belle II from Sir Thomas Shenton Thomas, Governor of the Straits Settlements, for an East Indies cruise, sped off for a few days in Java.

Mr. & Mrs. Oliva Dionne, parents of the Quintuplets, went to Manhattan, hastened to Radio City Music Hall to see The Country Doctor, their babies' cinema biography. Father Dionne, whose screen counterpart is a fecund nincompoop, was visibly depressed by the spectacle. It was the fourth cinema Mother Elzire Dionne, who speaks only Canadian-French, had ever seen. She sat in tense silence up to the scene in which one newly-born infant after another is carried in to the astounded father. Then she snorted: "Mais, ce n'etait pas du tout comme ca! C'est fou!" ("Why, it wasn't anything like that! That's crazy!")

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