Sex; Hangovers & Milk

As every drunkard knows, cold milk soothes seething stomachs. Last summer the State of New York set out to acquaint novice tipplers with this useful fact. In 1933 the State Legislature had laid a tax of 1-c- per cwt. on milk, half the proceeds to go for an advertising campaign designed to up milk consumption. The 1934 campaign, conducted by the State Department of Health, was a model of dignified propriety, cost $400,000, upped milk consumption not a quart. Last July the job was turned over to the State Department of Agriculture & Markets, which promptly hired a professional advertising agency to pep things up.

"Can your complexion bear his closest scrutiny?" the State of New York inquired of its young women in newspaper advertisements last week. An amorous young pair were pictured ogling nose to nose. "MILK FOR A GLAMOROUS COMPLEXION," cried the State of New York. "Each glass of milk you drink is a calcium treatment. . . . Look what milk does for a baby's skin."

Besides booming milk as an aid to sexual success, the State of New York has also pointed out its virtues as a strength-giver. "[It] was a fight against odds," Pugilist James J. Braddock was represented as declaring of his lackpenny preparation for winning the heavyweight championship. "But when it came to milk . . . well, we gave up a lot of things but never milk. I don't think I ever could have gotten in shape without it." Other witnesses to milk's athletic potency: Babe Ruth, Jack Dempsey, Grantland Rice.

"REDUCE WITH MILK," the State of New York has advertised. "If you want to lose weight pleasantly and scientifically, we'll gladly send you the Hollywood booklet: 'The Milky Way.' Diets of Movie Stars." Reduction testimonials are offered by Heather Angel, Marian Marsh, Dorothy Lee.

To hangover sufferers the State of New York suggests: "Milk, the alkalizer, works like a charm. Overindulgence, afternoon fag, any time acid 'products' accumulate in your blood, simply alkalize with milk."

No man to let such caperings pass without comment is Dr. Morris Fishbein, pontifical editor of the Journal of the American Medical Association. "Ridiculous! . . . Untrue!" snorted he in the Journal last week. "Milk is the only article of diet whose function in nature is to serve as food. Certainly the values of milk in protein, in mineral salts and in vitamins are sufficient upon which to base claims as to its usefulness without trying to turn the product into a 'patent medicine.' "

In Albany, N. Y., State Health Commissioner Thomas Parran Jr. promptly endorsed Editor Fishbein's fulminations, darkly warned: "Alkalosis is just as deleterious to health as acidosis."

Totally unimpressed was the State of New York's lively Bureau of Milk Publicity. First two months after its undignified campaign began. State milk consumption jumped 8,000,000 quarts over the same period last year.

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