Great Impersonation

Early in the second quarter of the game between St. Mary's and Fordham at New York City's Polo Grounds last week, a St. Mary's back sent a terrific punt from midfield deep into the left-hand corner of Fordham's territory. Fordham's Maniaci, standing just inside the goal line, was watching which way the ball would bounce. To his surprise it bounded from the turf to his hip, his helmet, then rolled into the end zone. While he was deciding what to do next, St. Mary's Meister fell on the ball, thus converting what might have been a touchback into a touchdown for St.

Mary's. Without that score the much-traveled California team would have lost the game instead of tying 7-to-7.

Freakish as that play seemed, it nevertheless was not U. S. Football's curiosity-of-the-week. That distinction went to a mystification at the University of California at Los Angeles which was taking on the proportions of a national sports scandal.

Four weeks ago, U. C. L. A. defeated Stanford when a fullback with the physique of a heavyweight champion had smashed over the winning touchdown and kicked the extra point. At U. C. L. A. he had registered three years ago as Robert F. ("Ted") Key. On the eve of the U. C. L. A.-California game last fortnight a California student manager sent U. C. L. A.'s Coach Bill Spaulding notification that it was time the great impersonation staged by "Ted" Key be ended. Coach Spaulding took the hint. Key did not take the field against California, a fact which might have accounted for California's 14-to-2 victory.

Seeking out Key for a story, reporters made their way to the luxurious Sunset Boulevard home of the Brothers Harold & Edward Janss. There in a cottage at the rear of the house "Ted" Key and his father James D. Key were in residence, the father acting as "watchman." By this time, though, young Key had disappeared, so it was to the father that newshawks put their queries. Was it true that "Ted" Key was really Clois Francis ("Shorty") Key, who played two years as fullback with the Texas School of Mines in 1930-31? Not at all, declared Father Key. "I ought to know my own son." But even a father's word was not enough for U. C. L. A. Dean Earl J. Miller who forthwith set out for Texas, home of the Keys, to straighten out the case. At Amarillo he found an Earl ("Ox"') Key, Southern Methodist star ten years ago, who insisted that U. C. L. A.'s Key was "Ted" Key all right and he should know because he was his brother. Then another Robert F. Key turned up who claimed he was a cousin of U. C. L. A.'s Key but that that Key was not "Ted" but "Shorty," and he should know because he had lent him his high-school credentials so he could get into U. C. L. A. After a week of this kind of nonsense, U. C. L. A.'s Key suddenly came out of hiding and confessed what nearly everybody else at U. C. L. A. except Dean Miller had known for two years, namely, that he was a ringer almost 30 years old passing under an assumed name. Year before he entered college he had attended Urban Military Academy, a U. C. L. A. "farm," where he played under the name of "Tex" Maness. When he registered at U. C. L. A.. Key "confessed" to Dean Miller that his real name was not "Tex" Maness, but "Ted" Key. The Dean duly reported this irregularity to Pacific Coast Conference authorities, pleading clemency for the boy. Only penalty meted out to Key was ineligibility for U. C. L. A. freshman athletics. Declaring that he was glad the hoax was over, last week "Shorty" Key confessed: ". . . Before God the paramount reason I went to U. C. L. A. under the alias was to get a degree so I could coach! I figured I'd only be able to play in the California game anyway. A friend of mine from Texas sent me a paper the other day with a big picture of me kicking. The story was: 'Can Southern Methodist Stop Him?' That scared me plenty. I knew plenty of the boys down Texas way knew that I was really Clois Francis Key. ... I felt some of the boys would blow the whistle. But somebody got in their work a little too soon." Without Key to stop, Southern Methodist rode into Los Angeles last week, rode out with a 21-to-0 victory over depleted U. C. L. A. On the eve of the homecoming game at Iowa City between Iowa and Minnesota, Governor Clyde La Verne Herring was said to have announced that his fellow citizens "would not permit any undue rough treatment" of Negro Oze Simmons, fleet Iowa halfback. Infuriated, the Minnesota team held its pre-game workout in Illinois guarded by firemen, local constables and State police. Then it stepped across the line, handed Oze Simmons & teammates a 13-to-6 beating. Harvard, having failed to score a touchdown against Princeton since 1920, kept that record clean when it met the Tigers for the second time since relations were broken off in 1926, lost 35-to-0. Ohio State, vanquished in the last minute of play by Notre Dame week before, was in an ugly mood when it took the field against Chicago. It was in an even uglier one when, in the middle of the third period, it was trailing Chicago 13-to-0. Thereupon, the Buckeyes began whipping passes around, scored three touchdowns in 20 minutes to keep their Conference record unsullied with a 20-to-13 victory. When a Notre Dame touchdown was invalidated for holding, a desperate Northwestern team made the most of its opportunity, staged a rally which sent it to the showers the winner 14-to-7. Nebraska won the Big Six title by nosing out Kansas 19-to-13.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.