Widow

In Kansas City, Mo. plump, blue-eyed Mrs. Lottie Crumley, 34, confessed to police a plan to: 1) marry an ailing pool room attendant; 2) insure him for at least $1,000; 3) kill him in a fake hold-up or automobile accident; 4) collect the insurance and pay a gunman to kill the wife of a street car motorman and; 5) marry the motorman. "I am in love with the motorman," she concluded, "and he promised to marry me." Said the motorman: "She was a pest who was riding in my car at every opportunity."

Best

In York, S. C., dressing for the funeral of his roommate, Negro Richard Moore who had been mortally stabbed, Negro Charlie Hymes discovered that Moore's kinsmen had taken Hymes's best suit to dress the corpse. Hymes put on Moore's stained suit, called a constable, confronted the kinsmen, demanded $15 for his suit back, then exchanged suits with the corpse and went to the funeral.

Ennui

In Wichita, Kans., seized by police for giving her four-year-old son a cigaret to smoke in a bus, Mrs. Harold Young, 29, of New York City, complained, "What's the kid to do to pass away the time if he can't smoke?"

Keys

In Huntington, W. Va., arrested for the murder of Hollis ("Coonhunter") Bowen, 28, cheerful, psychotic Will Stevens, 50, eased himself into a police station chair and told his story:

"It was one night last week I was at a house and drunk and a-lay across the bed and Coonhunter laid down aside me and went through my pockets and took my pocketbook with six cents and my keys. Last night it was I got to thinkin' about this and the longer I thought the madder I got because I needed my keys about unlockin' things. Here I was unable to get into my place without crawlin' in the window. I lived there and I had a right nice place. I had me a hot plate and as good a blanket as you ever saw.

"So up I go about 10:45 and get Coonhunter out of bed and I tell him, 'Now, look a-here, you find my keys by 11 o'clock or I'll kill you. I don't care nothin' much about the six cents.' And he started shakin' and I went away. But come 11 o'clock and back I went and there was Coonhunter pawin' and a-scratchin' in the potater patch where he said he'd throwed the keys and I looked at him and I said. 'Coonhunter, guess I'll have to kill you. Life's uncertain but death's sure. I've come out here to do something I never done before in my life.' He started runnin' around a-lookin' some more and then he ran away from me and I shot him a couple times in the back. He fell over and he kinda looked up at me and I thought, 'I might not a got him but if I shoot him one more time I'll know I have him.' So I took both hands and I leaned over him and I took dead aim right between his eyes and I pulled the trigger. Then I saw the blood spurt and I knew I had him. Then I put my gun down in my jeans and I took out the streetcar a aimin' to go to Kentucky to my pappy's. . . . But first I had me a bite to eat. . . ."

Family

In Philadelphia, arrested for struggling with her husband for possession of a pistol, Mrs. Henry Sayers started talking. The Sayerses had left Vancouver, B. C. hurriedly because of a bad check. When they were married 17 years ago, Mr. Sayers mentioned that he was already married. "I didn't mind," said Mrs. Sayers, "because I was married already myself. But when I read my husband's name in the papers among the persons who just got marriage licenses in Elkton, Md., I took the pistol to the factory so he could shoot himself." Henry Sayers was jailed for illegally registering to vote in Philadelphia.

Camp-Follower

In Logansport, Ind., Mattie Frazier, 70, relict of two Civil War veterans, was divorced by Stephen Frazier, 90, Civil War veteran, on the grounds that she had married him for his pension.

Rules

In Manhattan, toothless John Carl Fast Deer Hill, 105, Mohawk Indian half-breed on a Government old-age pension, gave his rules for longevity: "Eat when you're hungry, five, six, seven times or not at all. Sleep on straw, wood or buffalo hide. Don't sleep on a cotton or hair mattress, because that's what diseases come from-- the air never gets in them. Know some funny stories and tell them to yourself. Rub your stomach night and morning. Smoke three or four pipes and put them in the sun when you're not using them. Roll your tobacco in the palm of your hand with a little vaseline. Eat plenty of spinach. If there's no spinach, eat grass. Chop it up and put plenty of salt and pepper on. Cooked or raw, grass is equally good for you. And here's the most important thing--bandage your legs. That keeps the strength in them. Take the bandages off at night. Read until your eyes hurt. Rest when you get tired and take a good drink of whiskey or gin now and then when you have the price."

Time

In Memphis, Tenn., Mrs. Minnie Bunn, court officer, advised a Negro woman to leave her husband when she told the court: 'My husband done set a time to kill me but won't tell me when. He sleeps with a razor under his pillow so I gets me a hammer for my pillow. He don't sleep very good and I don't sleep a-tall."

Success

In Manhattan, Mrs. Marguerite Phillips who arrived in the U. S. from France 20 years ago with a .25 automatic pistol with which to kill herself if she failed in the dressmaking business, decided she had definitely succeeded, threw the pistol into her apartment garbage can, was jailed for owning a pistol without a permit.

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