Swan Goring

On the 700th birthday of their fusty little city, proud burghers of Emmerich feted the dressiest Nazi. Beefy Prussian Premier General Hermann Wilhelm Goering constantly designs new uniforms to button around his barrel midriff and is said to have caused the Queen of Siam to remark, "He must eat a lot of rice--but no, in Germany it is potatoes." Utterly dazzled by Premier Goering's appearance at Emmerich, the local Tageblatt dashed off a fashion note which Czechoslovak papers picked up last week and printed under mocking headlines:

"General Goering appeared in a uniform of snow white silk from head to feet. Around his waist was a broad black and silver sash from which hung a red leather holster and a golden dirk of honor. From a shoulder strap to the top button of his tunic ran a golden cord. A black pearl pin ornamented his cravat. On his left breast blazed decorations headed by the Pour le Merite order. The Premier stood out from the brown background of his followers like a silver swan. His smile glittered like gold."

Before Nazidom gagged the Fatherland's jokesmiths they used to hammer out an anecdote in which Adolf Hitler, dozing at the opera, woke up to mistake a fat, gorgeously dressed Lohengrin for Goering and shouted at him: "No, Hermann! That's going too far!''

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