"Names make news." Last week these names made this news:

To teach Gold Coast natives, who own more than 5,000 mi. of improved highways, how to dodge motor traffic, Nana Sir Ofori Atta, while visiting London, took practice crossing frantic Trafalgar Square (see cut). Sir Ofori, Omanhene (Paramount Chief) of Akyem Abuakwa, a Gold Coast district which once supplied myriads of U. S. slaves, is a rich, pious, English-speaking Presbyterian, especially educated in manual training and agriculture, whom King George knighted for marshalling Gold Coast natives against the Germans in Africa during the War.

He owns three motor cars, is a director of Akim, Ltd., a diamond mining corporation. In London Sir Ofori habitually wore a thick velvet toga, a bracelet and necklace of gold links, gold-encrusted crown and sandals. The 9-year-old pickaninny who bears the Omanhene's sword and is always with him represents his separately embodied soul.

At the gates of San Quentin prison appeared plump, watery-eyed Mrs. Tom Mooney, to visit her convict-husband. Occasion: their 23rd wedding anniversary, the 16th they have passed together within San Quentin's walls.

In Altoona, Pa., the Order of Yellow Dogs solemnly initiated Charles Michael Schwab into its pack. Steelman Schwab set up the required ''night howl" by yelping: "I have been presented to the Royalty of Europe, and I could not remember their names and told them so. I cannot remember the terrible names of your officers, and so I shall just call you brother dogs." Remembering the Yellow Dogs' mission, he added: "I assure you I shall not forget my obligations to the underdog."

In Honolulu a blade tossed by a Siamese sword-thrower missed its target, found instead the cheek of California's famed Criminologist August Vollmer. Flying on its way, it nicked the ear of San Francisco Chronicle's Editor Chester Harvey Rowell.

English Comedienne Gertrude Lawrence swung a bottle of champagne against her new 30-ft. yacht, gift of Douglas Fairbanks Jr. The bottle bounced back. Harder she swung and still harder, but without results. While spectators tittered, she picked up a hatchet and smashed the bottle. Then, out of breath, she christened the boat Grateful, took Donor Fairbanks and friends on a week-end cruise out of Southampton.

Rockwell Kent sailed for Unamak, Greenland, where he will paint, write, live mostly on shark, seal & whale, initiate his 13-year-old son Gordon into Eskimo life. Said Artist Kent: "A very fine people, the Greenlanders. All marvelous physical specimens. . . . Their personal lives are free and unrestrained. . . . Their social life is a riot. If it weren't for the necessities of getting a living, they'd dance all the time, all night and every night. . . ."

After the Civil War Horace ("Go West, Young Man") Greeley helped off to the West a group of grateful settlers who called themselves the Union Colony. They founded the semi-cooperative community of Greeley, Colo., issued land to members, laid down strict rules for government. Last week the city fathers of Greeley, no reformers, voted to issue liquor licenses. But nearly every landowner in Greeley knew that the deed to his property prohibited forever the sale of liquor; that the Union Colony Co. stood ready to expropriate him if he violated the principles of shrewd old Prohibitionist Greeley.

To New York Zoological Park went Freda, obstreperous 125-lb. 7-year-old orangutan, onetime pet of Mrs. Vincent Astor. There Freda playfully: 1 ) ripped a triple-bolted board off the side of her cage; 2) pulled a heavy iron door out of its track; 3) turned a hose on all comers.

In his Springfield office Illinois' Governor Henry Horner watched the temperature mount from 90DEG to 95DEG to 100DEG. Soon callers found him, cucumber-cool, at his desk under a shady tree on the lawn of the Executive Mansion.

New York's Governor Herbert Henry Lehman lit up his first pipe in ten years. It went out. He lit it again. Out again. After he had used up a full box of matches he went back to cigars.

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