Perissology

More than one opposition Senator suspected that President Roosevelt had tossed the St. Lawrence Waterway Treaty into the Senate at this time to give that august debating society something innocuous to quarrel over and thus keep itself out of serious mischief while waiting for the House to whip through the President's domestic program. Most of last week, therefore, the Senate was kept busy talking about this pact with Canada. The substance of the debate was inferior to its manner. Most politely vociferous opponent of the treaty was Illinois' aging, asthmatic Senator James Hamilton Lewis, who wore a new fawn-colored waistcoat for the occasion of his oration.

"I feel," he began, "that my distinguished friend of years, the eminent President of the United States, who is such an honor to his country and glory to civilization, has fallen into error. . . . We cannot expect the President of the United States, merely because he holds the office, always to be accurate. Of him, too, if I recall the Latin, it may be said, Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus. Or, as our Senators schooled in the classics would translate--Sometimes even good Homer himself nods."

Soon for all Mr. Lewis' grand manner he had the supporters of the Treaty jumping up & down in haste to contradict him. Mr. Pittman: I hesitate to interrupt the Senator, but he evidently did not understand what I read. Possibly it was poorly read.

Mr. Lewis (affably): No! It was not poorly read. My eminent friend never does anything poorly. . . .

Mr. Vandenberg: Mr. President, will the Senator be good enough to put that computation in the Record. I follow his eloquence but not his mathematics.

Mr. Lewis (blandly) : The mere fact that my friend cannot figure in more harmony with myself demonstrates that Michigan has not as harmonious an attitude as has Illinois. I trust it may soon obtain such.

Mr. La Follette: If the Senator will suffer a further interruption--

Mr. Lewis (stroking his once pink but now grey whiskers): Believe me, the Senator from Illinois finds it no suffering to hear the Senator from Wisconsin.

It all led to a magnificent peroration in which Senator Lewis denounced the idea of making such an entangling treaty with Great Britain.

"Sir," he cried to Tennessee's Bachman nodding in the chair, "I summons you to return to the teachings of our fathers and cling at this hour close to them in obedience and pray fidelity to the guidance of the directors of our destiny--our fathers of Government and our Father in Heaven. From this security we may know that as the Sentinel of passing days, aye of passing days, passing his rounds upon the watch tower of civilization, conning the ominous signs of the times, shall hear rung out the challenge: 'Watchman. what of the night?' Angels grant that, true to the lessons of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln, our friendship with all nations and alliances with none, we may respond 'Thank God, all is well.' "

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