Brokers

In New York Harbor aboard a ferry boat, Harold Donahue and John Cusack, brokers, eyed a man of scholarly mien for a long time. They approached the man peered into his face. "You're Stalin!' accused Broker Donahue. The man protested that he was Dr. Cornelius Mezei, pathologist of Sea View Hospital. "You're Trotsky!" contradicted Broker Cusack, grasping Dr. Mezei firmly by the cravat When the boat docked, Brokers Donahue & Cusack turned their find over to Federal agents, who promptly released him. Said Dr. Mezei: "They wanted to see my passport. They said they were Secret Service men. I never carry a passport on the ferry."

Ventriloquist

In St. Paul, because he was unable to collect a $15 judgment from David Gilman, theatre manager, Kenneth Spencer, ventriloquist, marched across the street from the theatre, made his dummies engage in a dialog anent the integrity of Manager Gilman. Chirped Dummy Spencer : "Say, Gilman, when are you going to pay me?"

Dummy Gilman: "Times are tough; $15 is a lot to get together at once."

Dummy Spencer: "Nertz!"

Ventriloquist Spencer was told to move on.

Inferior

In Minneapolis, A. K. Johnson sued Mrs. Vera L. Ferrin for $65,000, alleging that she was responsible for an automobile crash which left him with an inferiority complex.

500 -c-

In Manhattan, irked because Magistrate Renaud fined him $5 for infraction of a parking ordinance, Frank Shapiro, salesman, paid the fine in pennies.

Handyman

In Peekskill, N. Y., planning to paint his house, William P. Nabal borrowed a blowtorch to remove old paint. Absorbed in the operation of the blowtorch, William P. Nabal burnt off paint, clapboards, wall, house and all, returned the borrowed blowtorch.

Detective

In Wilmington, N. C., Deputy Sheriff T. Hargrove studied and studied to solve the murder of Richard Lacewell, a Negro found shot to death. He remembered a detective story sleuth who deduced his man from the picture of the slayer that the dead man's eyeballs had retained. Sleuth Hargrove photographed the dead man's eyes, enlarged the photographs, beheld a likeness of another Negro, one Tyman Graham. Confirming science, Suspect Graham confessed. Said Sleuth Hargrove: "Knowledge is power," not knowing that the human eyeball retains in death no picture whatever.

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