Box
In Scranton, Pa., Magician Huber the Great entertained theatre audiences by getting into a box, letting them nail the box shut, getting out of the box. One night Huber the Great failed to emerge. Anxious spectators broke open the box. found Huber the Great unconscious, nailed fast to the box.
Happy
In Sing Sing, Joseph Perez was happy. He thought he was a wealthy man and Sing Sing was his private estate. Unkind alienists pronounced him insane, unkind officials removed him to Dannemora State Hospital.
Funeral
In a church in Benton, 111., gathered the many friends of Stephen R. Patton. So. for his funeral. A quartet sang several hymns. The minister arose and preached the funeral sermon in a solemn, emotional voice, told how Stephen R. Patton had spent many wicked years before he became a Christian. In the mourners bench, behind piles of funeral wreaths, sat Stephen R. Patton himself. Tears gleamed in his eyes. Said he: ''It takes something like this to show a man how many friends he has." The friends had planned to give him a birthday party; he had begged for a funeral instead. "If I'm to have flowers." he said, "I'd rather have them while I'm alive."
Sneeze
Near Ogden. Utah, Fireman Ollie Lance of Union Pacific's No. 19 sneezed. No. 19 came to a sudden, sickening halt. Out piled the train crew, out piled the passengers, to search the tracks until they found Fireman Ollie Lance's lost false teeth.
Warning
In a Manhattan police station, policemen listening to a radio heard Commissioner Mulrooney declare: "Homicides resulting from lovers' quarrels cannot be prevented by the police." Two shots sounded half a block from the station house. The policemen ran to the spot, found two lovers dead on the sidewalk.
In Indianapolis two policemen heard weird noises issuing from a mail box. Deciding there might be a bomb inside, they found a postman, kept a safe distance until he opened the box. Inside was a litter of newborn kittens.
Conscience
In Nashville, Tenn., William L. Cherry forged three checks in 1917, was sentenced to 3-10-15 years in prison. Forty-one days later he escaped. His conscience uneasy, he enlisted in the army, hoping his finger prints would be recognized. They were not, so William L. Cherry hoped for death. He was wounded 22 times, decorated for bravery. Still hoping for capture but afraid to surrender, he joined the San Francisco police force, quit to become a guard at San Quentin prison. He married, was divorced. Last week he gave himself up in Cincinnati, said the act had brought him his first peaceful sleep in 14 years.
Bull
In London, a bullock was slaughtered, in its stomach found: seven pounds of nails, several pieces of copper wire, a silver brooch, a shoe buckle, a rubber boot and a derby hat. The bullock was pronounced healthy, its steaks pronounced tender.
Goat
In Kinston, N. C., William Alston's goat in seven days ate the following: an automobile seat, a hollyhock row. a pair of pyjamas, two days' mail, 17 hens' nests, a prayer book, three rows of assorted flowers. On the eighth day William Alston slew his goat, gave it to a Negro family. The family ate the goat.
Man
In a jail at Blackpool, England, Frank Sheridan ate his breakfast, then ate his spoon. Still hungry, he tore the chain and staple from his cell door and ate them too. Satisfied, Prisoner Sheridan lay down, went to sleep.
Stop
At Joliet, 111., Murderer Arthur Miller stole the warden's son's clothing, dieted from 180 to 130 pounds, fit himself into the grey linen suit, blue shirt, sport belt, black & white sport shoes, clapped the golf hat on his head, seized a golf stick, sauntered to freedom. After a holiday in Davenport, Iowa, clever Convict Miller borrowed an automobile, started for Chicago. At Dixon, 111., he came upon something he had never seen before or during his twelve years in prison--a red traffic light. He gave it one contemptuous kok and drove merrily on. That night in the Dixon jail "Arthur Morris," arrested for driving through a stop light, told the story of Arthur Miller's clever escape to a sympathetic cellmate. The sympathetic cellmate told a sympathetic sheriff. The next thing Arthur Miller-Morris knew he was back in Joliet. sans golf togs, sans automobile, sans his cleverly won freedom.
Inconvenience
In Brooklyn, Rex R. Fairbanks, 29, was hailed by a young woman in a roadster, asked the way to Park Plaza. The young woman also invited him for a ride, emphasized the invitation with a pistol. In Prospect Park she made Rex R. Fairbanks strip to his underclothes, get out. From one police station to another went Rex R. Fairbanks, in underclothes and hat. unable, for lack of definite police jurisdiction, to find sympathy or help in recovering the money, watch and ring he had lost with his clothes. Finally he went home. In the morning the police wrote him a note: "Sorry for inconvenience you were caused."
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