Strabolgi v. Hanner

Than plump Lieut. Commander Joseph Montague Kenworthy, M. P., the Liberal who turned Laborite two years ago "To Get Action," the statesman who once said of H. G. Wells, "the old gentleman has gone gaga," the British Laborite party has no more conspicuous member. Last week as plump Commander Kenworthy was preparing for a hotly contested general election, his mother had a fist fight with her landlady.

The Baroness Strabolgi, Commander Kenworthy's mother, was born Elizabeth Florence Cooper of San Francisco, Cal. For some weeks past there had been words between Baroness Strabolgi and Landlady Rosa Hanner. Lady Strabolgi wished to have coal fires in her apartment, had the gas logs ripped out in order to install grates.

"A coal box in the flat," said Landlady Hanner at an early stage of the debate, "is not in keeping with the propriety of such a fashionable neighborhood."

One thing led to another until last week found Lady Strabolgi, a Mr. R. H. M. Muller, her friend and neighbor, and Landlady Hanner all in court. It was charged that Lady Strabolgi and Neighbor Muller had, "to wit -struck, thrown about and kicked'' not only Mrs. Hanner, but also her daughter Joyce, who had gone to her mother's rescue with a bread knife.

Lady Strabolgi denied the assault, asserted that Landlady Hanner had pulled her hair.

"She called me a glutton," said Lady Strabolgi to The Hon. Mr. Justice McCardle. "As a matter of fact I keep thin and eat as little as I can."

Asked if she were an American, the Baroness recoiled and snapped: "Only by birth!"

Pressed for an explanation, she said frostily, "I was born in California and brought home to Scotland at the age of two. My early life was spent in Scotland, where people are very kind."

Dignified Neighbor Muller added his denial of the assault. "When I tried to usher Mrs. Hanner out of the Baroness Strabolgi's apartment." said he, "Mrs. Hanner sat down upon the floor."

"Did you scratch both or either plain tiff?" asked the landlady's counsel.

Neighbor Muller drew himself up. "I have been a cavalry officer," said he. "It would be foreign to my nature to scratch a woman."