Dutch Tomatoes

So many Britons are now keyed to the fiercest pitch of patriotism in defense of "All British Goods" that last week a wretched London vegetable woman, one Maud ("Maudie") Dallas, was actually hauled into court for displaying over a basket of Dutch tomatoes the sign:

"English Tomatoes, 5d a Ib."

Poor Maudie wept and cringed as she faced her stern accuser, one F. H. Fullom, who proclaimed himself "Secretary of the All British Glasshouse/- Produce Association."

"I knew she wasn't selling real British tomatoes the minute I saw her price!" roared Secretary Fullom. "Real English tomatoes are in such demand that they mostly sell for ninepence the pound, and never less than eight!"

Sobbed Maudie Dallas: "They was as good tomatoes as yourn! 'Ow was I to know they weren't English?"

The Court, after lecturing Maudie Dallas sternly on her loyal duty as a British vegetable woman, imposed a stiff fine: -L-5 ($24).

The newspaper of world's largest circulation, London's blatantly imperialist Daily Mail, headlined its indignant account of the case:

TOMATO FRAUD!

/- i.e. "Greenhouse."