Poor Aimee

Patrician London remained studiously unconscious, last week, that a female evangelist from California was preaching what she seemed to call her "Four Square Gospel" in famed Royal Albert Hall. Those of the nobility and gentry and middle classes who reflected upon the matter appeared to feel that the Holy Bible still offers a sufficient choice of Gospels. But of course the London mob, the lower classes, rushed to attend the evangelistic First Night of Aimee Semple McPherson. They 'ad 'card vaguely that Missis Mc-Pherson came from 'Ollywood; and, 10,000 strong, they packed and sweated in, to learn about sinnin' from 'er. Somehow plump Mrs. McPherson's soaring contralto failed to please. Perhaps the trouble was her accent. Since she is a woman the Lower Classes did not criticize her personally; but several Gallery Gods bawled that Gor' blymy her assistant evangelist didn't sing so an Englishman could understand him! Biting her lip and pink with vexation, Aimee McPherson shrilled: "He isn't an American at all! He lives in London. He's an Irishman!!" Even after this explanation and much powerful preaching, however, the audience of 10,000 yielded only 40 converts, who rushed to the Four Square Pulpit and cast themselves upon the bosom of the Lord. The meagerness of thank offerings collected on the first night was disheartening. Worse still, a mere 2,000 slummy people paid admission the second evening. Worst of all, there came a rival female evangelist from New Jersey, a resolute woman with the mien of an inspired laundress--the Reverend "Bishop" Mrs. Mollie Alma White, founder and primate of the Pillar of Fire Church. Bishop White, who has thousands of disciples ("Holy Jumpers") in the British Isles, clearly regarded Mrs. McPherson as a poacher upon her preserves or worse. Squired by two male Deacons, the Reverend Bishop sat herself down in a box at Albert Hall, with an air of purposing to break up the revival. The dread potency of Bishop White, when aroused against another female, may be judged from her scathing criticisms of the Church of Mary Baker Eddy: "The teachings of the so-called Christian Science Church . . . have drawn multitudes from the orthodox faith, and blasted their hopes of heaven! ... A person who is thus in the grip of Satanic power is unable to extricate himself . . . [and is] left in utter spiritual desolation." Well might buxom Aimee McPherson have quailed as she faced 2,000 tepid Britons, over 8,000 empty seats, the two Deacons and "Bishop" Mrs. White. No sooner did the Evangelist mount her pulpit than Bishop White stood up in her box and loudly shouted: "Couldn't Mrs. McPherson favor us with an explanation of her kidnapping incident on the Pacific Coast?" Quick-witted, the leader of Mrs. Mc Pherson's choir struck up a hymn, drowning out Bishop White. But the Bishop closely watched her chances and shouted disconcerting questions in such fashion that two more hymns had to be sung -- while Evangelist McPherson flushed hotly in her pulpit. Finally, with a laugh which some considered mocking, the Reverend "Bishop" Mrs. Alma White flounced out of her box and Albert Hall. Smart London had no need to notice or to scoff. The third McPherson revival was cancelled, when not even the lower classes could be induced to buy more than a few score tickets.