What the Gardner Said Sirs: You might like to know what our gardner (a very comical man) said when he finished chuckling over your The Voter's Dream cartoon. "Well, Sir!" he said, "nothing ain't tickled my wrinkled old wattles so in ten year!" Old John comes from the "Coolidge Country" in Vermont and he tells me that the expression "tickling one's wattles" is used by one of the most distinguished men born in those parts. By "wattles" it seems that they mean the skinny, baggy fore part of a typical Vermonter's throat. I like the expression so well that I want to be reminded of it by having a copy of TIME'S cartoon framed and hung in my den. Your cartoonist has put prime "wattles" on President Coolidge, Secretary Kellogg, Senator Vare, Senator Borah and "Big Bill" Thompson. HENRY HARRIMAN TYLER New Rochelle, N. Y.
"Very Fine" Sirs: . . . Unquestionably a very fine and significant cartoon. At what price can you supply me with additional copies? JOHN GLASS Baltimore, Md. Printed on high-grade cardboard, $1. Framed (plain black frame), $2. -- ED. "Shame!" Sirs: I am an admirer of the Rev. Dr. John R. Straton. Your cartoon of him as a roach has upset me as few things could. Shame! You may cancel my husband's subscription. PEARL ROSE JACKSON (Mrs. Horace Jackson) New York City TIME will cancel Subscriber Horace Jackson's subscription if and when Subscriber Horace Jackson so orders. -- ED. Would Buy Sirs: I fear I am known to TIME merely as "one" Original Subscriber Brown. But I consider myself a "potent" cover-to-cover reader. Therefore, I rise to hail as "able" and soon to become "famed" The Voter's Dream cartoon in this week's TIME. Verily Cartoonist Barbour has drawn the "tycoon" of cartoons! To him "all praise," and to rival cartoonists a "thoroughgoing rebuke." My "shrewd" purpose in writing this letter is to offer you $100 for the original of The Voter's Dream. I "view with alarm" the possibility that some other subscriber may offer you more. But if my bid is successful, I promise to hang the original over my mantel and ever thereafter "point with pride." Will TIME sell? If not I shall be "vexed." ORIGINAL SUBSCRIBER CHARLES YEATS-BROWN Boston, Mass.
The original of "The Voter's Dream" is not for sale. --ED.
Blank Check Sirs: ... I want the original of that cartoon. Here is a blank check. Make it out for whatever amount you like (up to $50). I mean to have that original! CHESTER SWOPE Cleveland, Ohio
P. S. This letter means that I am offering you $50 for the original of The Voter's Dream.
Not for sale. -- ED.
Fifteen Cents Sirs: You will find 15-c- in stamps attached to this note. Please mail a copy of TIME containing The Voter's Dream to the Rev. Dr. John Cockroach Straton. Your cartoon will enable him to see himself as every intelligent person has seen him for years. On second thought, I am attaching another 15-c- for the benefit of Wm. E. Vare, the "Senator-suspect." REYNOLDS PHIPPS Philadelphia, Pa.
A Minority Party Sirs: I notice in your issue of Oct. 8 you quote certain remarks of mine about bigotry and my prediction, in answer to questions, that Hoover seems the more likely winner. Now the important part of the interview from which you have taken this quotation was my expression of high hope for the organization of a powerful Socialist Party. I never expected to bring that to pass in one campaign and to quote me as "facing the fact" that I cannot win after a tour is quite misleading. The important fact I faced after the tour was the need of our party and the encouragement I found to build it in spite of the three unhealthy R's and in spite of Hoover's organization. Incidentally I may add that whether Hoover or Smith wins will make as little difference in the government of the United States, considering the character of the parties behind them, both of which are owned by the same interests, as will the winner of the World Series. Just as a sporting proposition isn't it fair to a minority -- which is by no means a minority party in all parts of the -- to give a more adequate account of its purpose and hopes than in the brief paragraph in your issue of the 8th? NORMAN THOMAS Socialist Candidate for President New York City
Fuller's Attitude Sirs: I am sure that TIME would not consciously misrepresent my attitude toward the Republican nominees for the Presidency and the Vice Presi- dency; but I must say that your quotation from my speech before the American Legion is misleading because of the fact that you have only quoted parts of it. Please rest assured that I was not at all disappointed at not being nominated for the Vice Presidency, and I am not "cool" toward anyone on that account. I sincerely hope that Hoover and Curtis will be elected and I shall do everything I can to help them. Meanwhile please rest assured that I am an enthusiastic reader of TIME, and am grateful to you for the very interesting article you had about my friend Augustus John, who happens to be my guest at this time. There is a saying that time at last makes all things even, and I am sure that this is true of your great publication; and that you will be only too glad in your own way to correct the erroneous impression given by the reading notice I refer to. ALVAN TUFTS FULLER THE GOVERNOR The Commonwealth of Massachusetts Executive Department State House, Boston
TIME, lacking space to quote whole speeches, quotes memorable excerpts. From Governor Fuller's speech to the American Legion, excerpts were quoted to illustrate that independence of political thought which Governor Fuller must agree has been characteristic of him before, during and after the National Republican Convention. To Governor Fuller, all thanks for perfecting TIME'S understanding of his attitude.--ED.
Lavender Hair Sirs: Apropos your "passion for accuracy" complex. In a recent issue you published an account of Madame Charlotte's experience with her French hairdresser in which her white hair became unexpectedly lavender. You stated further that designer Charlotte's tresses have since remained mauve due to the lovely lady's efforts to keep them so. But hold-- The August 18th issue of the Saturday Evening Post printed the enclosed advertisement for the Elgin Watch Company in which the clever lady Charlotte is described as being crowned with "hair as white as white gold." SHAME! Note however that the artist who painted Madame's likeness did daub her hair with lavender, even this broad hint failed to click with the copy writer. CALVIN HUNT St. Paul, Minn. Apparently, Subscriber Hunt places greater credence in an advertising-copywriter than in TIME. Admen take justifiable pride in the prestige of their profession. However, this particular copywriter happens to be mistaken. When seen last month, Madame Charlotte's hair showed lavender, as stated by TIME and as indicated by Elgin's artist. -- ED.
No Atheist Sirs: My attention has been directed to the fact that, in a recent number [Aug. 20] of your publication, you list me as an atheist. That is a reflection upon your intelligence, unless it is intended as a reflection upon mine. . . . The connection allies me with an organization with which I have not the slightest relation or sympathy. ... In applying the term "atheist" to anyone who has not professed himself to be such, you are putting yourselves in the class of reckless traducers of truth-seeking. A. G. KELLER Yale University New Haven, Conn.
No Model Sirs: Thank you for publishing the notice of my engagement to Dorothy Buck. ... Please be advised that although Miss Buck was the inspiration for my Goddess of Agriculture, she did not pose for it. The difference is important. Miss Buck is not a model. ALEX J. ETTL New York City
Insolent Clerks Sirs: I am a subscriber since 1923 at Panama, C. Z. I have always abstained from writing letters that more or less annoy you besides taking up space in your glorious magazine. But the culmination of rage sizzles for expression within me. On p. 14, Oct. 1, issue in third column, under caption "Relief" appears: 1,200 tons of food 3,490 tons of misc. supplies 10 days provisions for 100,000 people, etc. All to be distributed to the poor devils, victims of the tremendous hurricane in Porto Rico. I can imagine the anxiety of those people expecting that colossal help. It is a donation to that country that my compatriots will never forget. I can see their mouths water -- literally speaking, I've been hungry -- when they read in big head lines that it was going to be distributed to apease their hunger and calm their anxiety. Now you think of their embarrassment when going to ask for a little food they are bruskely, insolently turned away. To substantiate the above I have in front of me a letter from my sister -- one of the storms victims -- which I will translate in part: "This hurricane was worse than the storm of 1899 (she writes). "We had to move to a house stronger than ours -- but the wind shook the walls like a young tree. During one day and night we remained under that house --ours flew away --next day I had no place to go. So I took two pieces of corrugated iron, leaned them against a tree and that is my home and the children's. We have no clothes presentable. "For 24 hours I couldn't even make tea for my babies. We have no tea or sugar either. But when the rain cleared and I decided to go to the city hall where things were distributed, I was embarrassed beyond words. The Red Cross clerk insolently asked me "What do you want, chow?" I was so ashamed that I'd preferred to die." Now those people are sensitive, they have a little pride. When they give, they give their shirt; when they take they apologize and soon repay. I don't blame the Red Cross for this, but those stupid, insulting clerks they hire to distribute the provisions. If they know you they give you beans, and bacon, if you are stranger they refuse you and let you starve. This is the first letter she has ever written me in more than 20 years. I must give vent to my emotions. I am not writing for notoreity -- not for debates -- but for action. Put someone wise. Mr. Baker, Nat. Relief Director, went there to supervise. The people here give money and nine chances out of ten it is used to pay wages -- directly or indirectly to clerks that have no more heart than Nero. Put him wise. Brig. Gen. H. A. Drum goes there with his staff. They likewise should be put wise. The good goes there, but I wouldn't be surprised if some of it is given or taken by someone and speculated or profiteered with, like in 1899 RAMIRO RIVERA U. S. Army Fort Harrison, Ind.
Let Subscriber Rivera's sister conquer her neurosis or "inferiority complex" and boldly demand her fair share of food from the American Red Cross. Let no insolent clerk again upset her by crying, "Chow" Let Subscriber Rivera report to TIME that all is now well, or otherwise. --ED.
Again, Kreutzweiser Sirs: In the issue of Oct. 1 (p. 15) under the heading Great Britain you print a wholly unpardonable faux pas. Since when is anybody in polite language a "gaping yokel"? This is a terrible expression for a magazine of TIME'S class to use. Think it over. And I hope it does not occur again, in any connection.
E. KREUTZWEISER Saskatoon Star-Phoenix, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.