Churchill Into Bed

The naturally ruddy cheeks of Chancellor of the Exchequer Winston Churchill were flushed by fever, last week, on the morning when his new Budget (TIME, May 7) came up for debate in the House of Commons.

Characteristically the Chancellor ignored the warning of his doctor's thermometer, and rushed impetuously into the verbal fray. He found the Laborites preparing to attack his new tax on petroleum fuels from a shrewd angle. They were about to plead with fervor the cause of the-poor-man-with-a-kerosene-lamp.

Since the rural lamp burning vote is combustible, Chancellor Churchill acted with instant decision, and extinguished the Labor attack by announcing that he had decided, overnight, to exempt kerosene from the tax, which, however, will still bear on gasoline. Well pleased at the flurry caused by his announcement, Mr. Churchill added: "His Majesty's Government have no fear that motorists will evade the tax on gasoline by attempting to use kerosene. They would do more harm to their engines than to the Exchequer."

Thus, the Chancellor defended his Budget with spirit, for some hours, careless or unconscious of his rising fever. Suddenly, however, he was seen to sway, and then to hurry from the House. A moment later he sped by motor up broad Whitehall to his nearby official residence at No. 11 Downing Street--next door to famed "No. 10," the residence of Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin. Soon Mr. Churchill was tucked into bed. A doctor who could not presume to say I-told-you-so declared firmly that Chancellor Churchill had a seemingly not dangerous case of influenza but must not stir abroad for at least a week.

In the Commons debate was renewed, and savagely, upon the Budget. Tough, veteran Laborites such as the Rt. Hon. Philip Snowden--Chancellor of the Exchequer in 1924--licked anticipatory chops when they saw that Chancellor Churchill had sent as his deputy, Mr. Arthur Michael Samuel, Financial Secretary of the Treasury.*

Unfortunately for Expert Samuel a back bencher of the Chancellor's own party (Conservative) arose and protested that a reduction should be made in the case of another of the new Churchill taxes, namely that on British-made cigaret lighters. Against this proposal Expert Samuel, determined to defend his influenza-stricken Chief, set his lips and remained firm. He was then indiscreetly approached by Colonial Secretary Colonel Leopold C. M. S. Amery (strong, speechless man of the Cabinet), who whispered in his ear. At the conclusion of this dramatic whispering Expert Samuel reversed his decision of a moment before and consented audibly to a reduction of the tax on lighters. Thereby he gave the Laborites a prime chance to whoop, heckle and deride him as a soup-will, a ninny-pinny.

Within five minutes the pandemonium was such that a disgusted Briton in the gallery hurled his hat down upon the floor of the House, exclaiming: "Shut up, you bloody fools!" Oddly enough, this quieted the tumult; but as it subsided crippled Philip Snowden grinned upon Expert Samuel, and remarked: "I do not envy the Financial Secretary when he meets the convalescent Chancellor of the Exchequer."

* Roughly equivalent to a U. S. Assistant Secretary of the Treasury.