Irish Oyster

Once (says an author, where I need not say)

Two travelers found an Oyster in their way:

Both fierce, both hungry, the dispute grew strong,

While, scale in hand, dame Justice pass'd along.

Before her each with clamour pleads the laws,

Explain'd the matter, and would win the cause.

Dame Justice weighing long the doubtful right,

Takes, opens, swallows it before their sight.

The cause of strife remov'd so rarely well,

'There, take,' says Justice, 'take ye each a shell.

'We thrive at Westminster on fools like you.

"Twas a fat Oyster--Live in peace --Adieu!'

--POPE.

Two million five hundred thousand dollars is a fat, legal oyster. Last week, Dame Justice, "scale in hand," or rather, New York Supreme Court Justice Curtis A. Peters, completed his inspection in Manhattan of $2,500,000 remaining on deposit with the Harriman National Bank as the residue of $6,000,000 collected by famed Eamon de Valera in his heydey, from U. S. sympathizers with "The Irish Republic" of which he claimed to be "President."

'Twas a fat oyster; and the present Irish Free State was suing to obtain this sum on the ground that it (the Irish Free State) is the "successor" of the Irish Republic. The dispute grew strong, because Eamon de Valera was present early in the trial with counsel to argue that the money should be turned over to himself and followers who collected it. Each side "with clamour" pled the laws. . . .

Justice Peters retired and weighed long the doubtful right, weighed it carefully for 16 days. Then he oped the shell. He declared: "The Irish Republic never existed as a government de facto . . . and the Irish Free State could not, therefore, succeed it." From this logical conclusion Justice Peters gave judgment against both the Irish Republic (i. e. Mr. de Valera) and the Irish Free State. He directed, instead, that all legal costs arising from the action shall be paid out of the $2,500,000, and that what remains shall then be divided pro rata among the original contributors.

The cause of strife remov'd so rarely well, dignity prevented Justice Peters from concluding, like Poet Pope:

'Twas a fat Oyster--Live in peace--Adieu.