Soda Pop

Tyrus Raymond Cobb, ancient bellicose baseball player, crouched near the home plate at St. Petersburg, Fla., awaiting his turn at bat. Mr. Cobb is not, never has been one to do things quietly. So, while waiting, he gave advice to able Eddie Collins, ancient teammate, then in the process of batting; appraised the opposing pitcher's ability in acid terms; discoursed on this and that subject in a manner familiar to American League players.

Frank Wilson, National League umpire of fiery temperament, unused to Cobb's technique, was calling balls and strikes in the game-- an exhibition contest between the Boston National and Philadelphia American teams. He showed signs of being irritated by the monologue behind him.

"Knock it out of the lot, Eddie!" Cobb may have sneered. "That guy in the box is wholly worthless when considered from a pitching stand-point!" Umpire Wilson halted the game; approached the offending athlete with firm tread and livid countenance; ordered him off the premises. Cobb made leisurely preparations to comply with the arbiter's command. He walked slowly to the players' bench. He drew a glass of ice cold water; drank it with time out between sips for breathing and contemplation; carefully replaced the glass. He noted that one shoe lace seemed insecurely knotted. This situation was remedied. He noted that the other lace was not quite as it should be; leaned over; re-tied that one. After such exercise he felt uncontrollable thirst for soda pop. Purchasing a bottle from a passing vender, he sat down on the edge of the dugout; proceeded to swig politely, without haste.

Umpire Wilson's scant supply of patience was exhausted. Turning to the crowd, he screamed his decision to forfeit the game to Boston because of Cobb's behavior. Everyone seemed greatly embarrassed, with the exception of Mr. Cobb. A quick conference was held in which it was agreed that paying spectators deserved consideration. Wherefore another game was played with the ancient centre-fielder completely, conspicuously, Comfortingly (to Umpire Wilson, at least) absent.

Manager Cornelius McGillicuddy, recent purchaser of Cobb's services, wondered uneasily if his team would be fined the customary $1,000 for causing the forfeit of a game. Cobb grinned, having stirred up the first major fracas of the 1927 season, thus adding to his already numerous distinctions.