Miscellaneous Mentions

Albert B. Fall, whose name has something to do with oil, is suffering from pneumonia. Last week word flew about that he is going to run for Senator in New Mexico in 1928. He hopes to vindicate himself, it is said. Citizens with good memories recall that he had been a Senator before becoming Secretary of the Interior under President Harding.

Gov. and Mrs. Dan Moody of Texas are going to do their "dead level best" to live in the executive mansion on a salary of $4,000 a year--according to Mrs. Moody, who is young and pretty.

Gov. John Weeks, who says his wife will be a great help to him in running the affairs of Vermont, offered prayer before proceeding with his inaugural address last week.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, fearful lest something terrible may be happening at our army posts," confessed Secretary of War Dwight Filley Davis before the Women's National Republican Club in Manhattan last week. This was not the first time that "disgraceful housing conditions" in U. S. Army camps have been mentioned within the last six months.

One Louis Glassman, perpetrator of 110 burglaries and several jail breaks, asked for a Bible in the Springfield (Ill.) jail last week. None could be found on the premises; jailers rushed to a neighbor- hood mission, satisfied the convict.

"Your order of so-called suspension has reached me and amused me very much," telegraphed the warden of the state penitentiary at Canon City, Col., to Gov. Clarence J. Morley last week. Then the warden (Thomas J. Tynan by name) stationed machine guns and armed guards on his prison walls. No one dared enter to serve suspension papers on Warden Tynan. Said he: "You can say for me--and I don't mean maybe--that anyone trying to break into this prison will get the same dose as anyone trying to break out." Jesting friends of Governor Morley took pot shots at the prison searchlight, exploded mammoth firecrackers before the prison door.

Governor Morley charges Warden Tynan with incompetence, in- human treatment of convicts, insubordination and drunkenness. The Warden replies that the Governor is a Klansman and wants to parole or pardon most of his convicts. The two officials have been snarling at each other for two years. Governor Morley went out of office last week in favor of Governor Adams; Warden Tynan was not grieved.

Sensitive inhabitants of the State of Minnesota shuddered last week. Already their habitat had been flayed before the nation's eyes in the novels of crusty Sinclair Lewis. Already they had been represented in the U. S. Senate by Magnus ("Magnavox") Johnson. And now Minnesota was in a fair way to become another "monkey state" like Tennessee. The legislature had convened and one of the first bills to come up was one prohibiting the teaching of Evolution in Minnesota public schools.

A new word was coined, "Funda-monkeyist," applied by the bill's friends to patient Bishop Charles Edward Locke of the Methodist Church, who replied, "This whole anti-Evolution business is getting tiresome . . . has no more to do with personal religion than the Pons Asinorum."*

*The Bridge of Asses," fifth proposition of Greek Geometrist Euclid (third century B. C.), showing that the sum of the squares of the sides of a right triangle equals the square of the hypotenuse, so-called because when it is reached by the average geometry class, asinine pupils stumble.