Had they been interviewed, some people who figured in last week's news might have related certain of their doings as follows:

Sir Austen Chamberlain, British Foreign Secretary: "My penchant for a haughty monocle having been internationally remarked, I was welcomed to. Glasgow University last week by 5,000 students all be-monocled. Undismayed, I only 'screwed' my monocle the tighter into its eye socket, and was installed, amid acclaim as Lord Rector of Glasgow University. I am said to be one of the few Englishmen who can perform the 'impossible' feat of tossing my monocle into the air with thumb and finger and catching it again with my right eye socket."

His Eminence, George William Cardinal Mundelein of Chicago: "The very rare instance when a Catholic prelate 'boosts' a cinema show happened last week, when the pictures of last summer's Eucharistic Congress at Chicago were shown under my patronage at the Jolson Theatre, Manhattan. Of the show, His Eminence, Patrick Joseph Cardinal Hayes of New York said: 'The events of the Congress itself naturally are lived over again in a way to renew the spiritual fervor of our Catholic people and to appeal once more to our non-Catholic brethren whose sympathetic and reverend interest will never be forgotten.' "

Mark Morton, Chicago magnate (salt, sugar): "Like President John T. Dorrance of Campbell soups (TIME, Nov. 8), I too have a daughter, Jane, who enjoys business. When she completed her school courses at Miss Chamberlain's in Boston, she went to selling motor cars for a living. She proved so excellent a saleswoman that last week the Stutz Chicago factory branch put her in their customs body department, where she will possibly earn $50,000 yearly. She also operates an antique shop; loves horses, sports."

Adolph Lewisohn, German-born Manhattan capitalist: "I provided my home last week for a meeting of the Westchester County Committee of the New York State Charities Aid Association and heard Sociologist Edmund Cogswell scold bankers and insurance men for saying that the great majority of aged people are dependent on relatives or charity. An extensive investigation which he made in Massachusetts showed that less than 40% were dependent. It showed, too, that every 100 self-reliant sexagenarians have 260 children, while every 100 almshouse inmates have only 62. The association elected me president."

Amos Alonzo Stagg, football coach of the University of Chicago: "During a practice scrimmage between my Varsity and freshman teams, I, aged 64, failed to skip out of the way of a crashing line play, was bowled over and buried at the bottom of a pile of some 20 kicking, thrashing athletes. When this pile was removed, there I lay, senseless. Water soon restored me and up I leaped to berate the Varsity for failing to check the freshmen's attack. . . . On Saturday, the Varsity lost to Illinois, 7 to 0."

Mrs. Samuel Insull, onetime Gladys Wallis, actress: "Last year, I had a Manhattan success as Lady Teazle in The School for Scandal (TIME, Nov. 2, 1925). Last week I opened my new Repertory Theatre in Chicago. I was the star, in a new comedy from the pen of Gretchen Damrosch Finletter, daughter of Walter Damrosch, New York Symphony Orchestra conductor. The first night was a tremendous social success. The house was crowded with prominent Chicagoans, including Mr. and Mrs. J. Ogden Armour, Mr. and Mrs. John J. Mitchell Jr., Mrs. Jacob Baur, Cyrus McCormick, Mrs. Edith Rockefeller McCormick with Architect-friend Edwin D. Krenn; and, in the third row, my husband, my only son, Samuel Jr. and his wife. I was almost smothered in floral tributes, and there was thunderous applause, besides appreciative laughter from the audience, and handshaking and smiles between me and my fellow artists. Critics were fairly cordial. My play was said to be well-mannered, human and humorous, if slightly halting; and my own acting was praised as pretty and smart. The high point in the play centres around George Washington. Having told a French lieutenant that my house in Maine has a tablet saying that Washington once slept in one of my beds, I am transformed in his opinion from a nobody to the 'favorite' of a great ruler."

Sir James Matthew Barrie: "Like many a shy person, I dread being called to the telephone. But I feel it is necessary to have such an instrument in my home. My name does not appear in the new London telephone directory, my number being listed under the name of my butler. Thus I am accessible by telephone only to those friends who know me well enough to know the name of my butler."*

William Allen White, cultivated Emporian: " 'Oliver, I have always tried to teach you that there are three kicks in every dollar,' said I last week to Oliver Atherton, Mayor of Emporia, Kan. He was once an employe of my newspaper, the Emporia Gazette. I was handing him, as representative of the city, a deed to my gift of a 50-acre park for Emporia. I continued: 'Three kicks in every dollar, Oliver. One when you make it--and my father's forebears were Yankees, and how I do love to make a dollar. The second kick is when you have it, and I have a Yankee lust for saving. The third kick comes when you give it away, and my mother was Irish, and that's why the big kick is the last one.'"

Mrs. Katherine M. Debs, widow of Eugene V. Debs: "My husband left an estate valued at $15,000, the greater part of which consisted of our home in Terre Haute, Ind. He willed everything he owned to me in 22 words."

Mrs. Lincoln C. Andrews, wife of the General: "Last week I arrived in Chicago functioning in my first business venture as assistant vice president of the Clara Laughlin Travel Services. I told reporters that I admired men like George E. Brennan, Democratic Wet, who was not afraid to face the voters openly on the Prohibition question. Said I: 'Neither Mr. Andrews nor myself was eager for Prohibition. While in office he will enforce the law as long as it remains a law. When the people prove they no longer want it Mr. Andrews will gladly step down. His has been a thankless job from the first. . . .

Neither myself, my husband, nor our son has touched liquor since the law became effective. But that does not mean we would not welcome the day when actually non-intoxicating beverages could be brought into our own home without fear of breaking some law.' "

Leopold Auer, 81, unrivaled violin teacher: "Like my friend, Pianist Hofmann, I have just become a U. S. citizen. By birth Hungarian, I became in 1883 a Russian subject, in 1895 hereditary Russian nobleman, and in 1903 Russian State Councilor. As soloist to the Tsar, I succeeded the great composer-violinist Wieniaw-ski, but my chief pride is that my pupils have included Elman, Zimbalist, Heifetz. I have lived in the U. S. since 1918, following the Russian Revolution."

Josef Hofmann, one of "the three pianists":* "Like my friend, Violinist Auer, I have just become a U. S. citizen. I have made my home in the U. S. since my marriage, in 1905, to the daughter of James B. Eustis, of New Orleans, Ambassador to France under Grover Cleveland. Mrs. Edward Bok, daughter of Publisher-Patron-Organist Cyrus Hermann Kotzschmar Curtis, and her son, Curtis, were my sponsors for citizenship papers. I am living at the Bok residence at Merion, Pa., while my wife and daughter Josefa are abroad. This is convenient for my directorial duties at Curtis Institute of Music, Philadelphia. Josefa is studying sculpture. 'She,' said I, 'believes in the silent arts.'"

Meredith Nicholson, Indiana novelist of national repute:f "'The Ku Klux Klan and its brood--corrupt politicians--have cost Indiana at least a billion dollars, and earned my state the title, Land of the Boobs,' said I, caustically, to Indianapolis newsgatherers. 'When I go elsewhere I railed on, 'people don't kid me any more about being from the state of authors. "Is your governor-- still in jail?" they ask, and "How's the Ku Klux Klan?" Even with Senator Watson crying "You're a liar!" the Indiana Republicans cannot deny that D. C. Stephenson, Klan dragon and now a convict, was their big cheese, and that they dealt with him.'"

*Presumably the butler's name is not that of the Admirable Crichton, discreet, able butler who (in Sir James's socialistic play of that title) takes command of an aristocratic family on a deserted island, after shipwreck. The play was first produced in 1903, and cinematographed in 1919 under the title of Male and Female.

*The others, by most critics, are held to be Ignaz Jan Paderewski and Sergei Rachmaninov. Contemporary estimates, ever dangerous, might have to make room for Alfred Cortot; and Vladimir de Pachmann, admitted master interpreter of Chopin, yet lives. Of these careers, while Composer- pianist Paderewski's has been the most phenomenal, many people recall when Josef Hofmann, aged 11, his feet barely touching the pedals, was the U. S. musical sensation of the day (1887). Compelled by the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children to withdraw, he studied under Anton Rubinstein, "lion with the velvet paw." His playing is noted for its rare melodious and technically flawless musicianship.

/-Author of The House of a Thousand Candles, A Hoosier Chronicle, Otherwise Phyllis, etc.

**Warren T. McCray, sentenced in 1924 to ten years in Atlanta Penitentiary for using the mails to defraud.