Welles, Inkstand, Bandoleon

S. Heckstall-Smith, Secretary of the Anglo-South American Association, last week declared: "The Prince of Wales is the greatest salesman England ever had! . . . No 'drummer' could have stimulated orders as the Prince has done on his visit to South America (TIME, Oct. 26 et ante). . . . New contracts involving millions of pounds annually are now coming to Britain from the Argentine and Chile. . . . We are getting back much of the business lost to the U. S. during the War."

Thus at London. At Melton Mowbray, the Prince's hunting centre, he was having his own troubles. Stealthy and insidious, the dread "hoof and mouth disease" has been blighting English cattle in many counties of late. It was feared that the Prince's horses and hunting dogs might spread the disease as they swooped in full cry after an elusive fox. Therefore, the Prince did not hunt.

Subsequent despatches gravely reported: "The Prince of Wales is much perturbed over the loss of a highly treasured inkstand which he used constantly aboard the Repulse." Queried many: How lest? Did he throw it, when annoyed, like Prince Bismarck?* Like George Washington?/- Like Martin Luther?"**

Members of the Prince's suite declared that Edward of Wales is not as violent as Bismarck, Washington, Luther. Said they: "He has kept a diary of all his trips. . . . His comments are extremely interesting, not to say frank. Unfortunately, for reasons of state, it can probably never be published."

Subsequent cables informed the world that Wales is now learning to play the "bandoleon." Again cronies of the Prince supplied lacking data: "He used to play the ukulele; now he prefers the bandoleon. It's an educated sort of concertina--howls worse than a saxophone."

*The "Iron Chancellor" was summoned, early one morning in his roistering student days, to give an account of his misdeeds to the Rector of his college. Flinging on a bathrobe and whistling to his great boar hound, he sought that worthy, en deshabille. Becoming annoyed during the conversation which ensued, he picked up the Rector's inkstand, flung it at his head, missed, and strode from the office with the boar hound at heel.

/-George Washington, enraged, once allegedly hurled an inkstand at a wall.

**According to some reports, Martin Luther engaged in translating the Bible at the castle of Wartburg in 1521-2, heaved an inkstand at the Devil.