Monday, Oct. 19, 1925

Chevrolet v. Man

In Los Angeles, a sprinter, one Keith Lloyd, cousin of Harold Lloyd, crouched for his start, glancing nervously at his opponent. A pistol roared. Away went Lloyd. After him sprang his rival, a little Chevrolet* automobile. Lloyd, "champion sprinter of the University of Southern California," was three strides ahead before the spitting, snorting car had got into second. At the finish, man and car were neck and hub, timed at 10.3 in a dead-heat finish.

Toreador

In Soria, Spain, Nacional Second, famed bullfighter, victor of numberless red duels, toyed with a weak sick old bull, mocked and mowed, flaunting his dexterity, finally despatched the animal, turned to bow before the great gallery-- staggered, fell dead, struck on the temple by a thrown wine bottle.

Auditor

In Hartford, Conn., one Wesley B. Porter, 66, for 25 years Town Auditor (Republican), ran last week for reelection. "Good old Porter," said the citizens, elected him as usual, went to his house to inform him of the event, found crepe on the door. Auditor Porter had died the night before.

Plumber

In Beekman Place, Manhattan, ("rival to Sutton Place"), real estate dealers have induced many people, "smart," "artistic" and "high-grade," to fix their abodes. At No. 23 lives Katherine Cornell, famed actress; at No. 27, Actor William Farnum; nearby are Earle Booth, Margalo Gillmore; and at No. 37 one Marcus Schlossman, dealer in plumbing supplies, a blunt forthright fellow, has his home. Long has Plumber Schlossman viewed with alarm the growing "exclusiveness" of the district, the efforts of realtors to attract even more fine feathers. It did not help the plumbing trade, that much he knew. Was such cock-loftiness even American? Did it not endanger the very principles of equality upon which the nation was founded? For a long time he brooded on this question, went down into his cellar, wrote a sign, affixed it to his front window. "To Let," he stated, adding, in huge black letters: "NEGROES ONLY."

"Cad, Bounder, Tightwad"

In Paris, one Harold E. Stearns, editor of the Criterion, author of Civilization in the United States, spoke of Author Sinclair Lewis. Said he: "Cad. . . bounder. . . tightwad. . . dumbbell." Irritated by an article in the American Mercury in which Author Lewis referred to him as "father and seer of the Cafe Dome, who is an authority on living without laboring and who bases his opinions of people's intellectual capacity on the amount of money he can borrow from them," Editor Stearns continued:

"Mr. Lewis speaks sarcastically about somebody buying a drink, but if Mr. Lewis himself was ever caught buying a drink for anybody, at least 1,000 people would drop dead. . . . I am answering Mr. Lewis with words now, but some day I will answer him by punching his face in. . . . Just because by his malicious personal attack he exposes himself in public as a cad and a bounder, he cannot expect me to imitate him. . ."

*This Chevrolet had already demonstrated its superiority as a sprinter in eight heats against some half-dozen higher priced 4-cylinder cars.