Carp

At Middletown, N. Y., a stream overflowed, covered with water the garden of one Louis Bell so that, in the night, a 15-lb. German carp slank into his yard, began to feed upon the carrots, the asparagus. Bell rushed out, beat the carp to death with a spade.

Teeth

In Mexico City, one Islas Escandon, dentist, piled 400,000 human teeth in his window, advertised in glaring posters the ease with which he extracted molars, eyeteeth. A rabble, styled by approving officials as "a group of students," questioned patients of Islas Escandon, then advanced upon the quarters of this quack, drove him forth, shoveled his 400,000 teeth upon an ash-heap.

Respect

At White Plains, N. Y., died one James M. Reid, builder, leaving a considerable estate to his children and providing that, "in the hope they might develop a greater degree of respect and consideration for their father than they have shown during their lifetime," they should not receive a penny until they reached the age of 50.

Kitten

In Hamilton, Ont., a boardinghouse keeper clumped upstairs, knocked upon the door of an apartment rented by some Hungarians, received no answer. She called in an assistant, who burst down the door. There were the Hungarians --two male, one female--struck down, their skulls crushed by some, blunt instrument. On the body of one of the men a small kitten smilingly sunned itself.

Glasses

In Manhattan, the Rev. Dr. Arthur B. Churchman, invalid preacher, who speaks from a wheel chair at the Bethany Memorial Reformed Church, distributed glasses of chilled water to his congregation, announced that this practice would be continued throughout the summer Sabbaths, during the hymns. Growing plants in pots will be placed at the end of each pew, that those who cannot drain their tumblers may have a place to deposit the residue. "There'll be no dry sermons here !" cried the Rev. Mr. Churchman.

Season

Late June and early July bring the open season for congresses of Moose, Kiwanis, Realtors, Rotarians, Elks, Veiled Prophets.

Moose. In Baltimore, led by a detachment of police, behind which marched James J. Davis, U. S. Secretary of Labor, with the student band of Mooseheart behind them, 18,000 members of the Loyal Order of Moose, in fervent costumes, assembled for the grand parade when--Wumps, came the rain. It fell heavily. Heedless, the Moose began to march. The rain poured down their backs. They marched on. It wetted the women along the route; those who came to cheer remained to shiver; the Moosemen marched on. It soaked their hats, it trickled down their socks; a one-legged Moose from New Orleans, playing a trombone, hobbled along; barges bobbed, floats floated--floats showing life at the colony of aged Moose at Moosehaven; floats representing the training of the child, boy and man at Mooseheart; the rain fell. The Moose finished their march, elected officers, took rides through Green Spring Valley, dispersed.

Kiwanis. 5,000 representatives of 94,000 members in the U. S. and Canada, met in St. Paul, paraded, dined, elected one John H. Moss* their chief officer, were electrified by a speech containing such statements as "The men who shout for more business in government do not realize the limitations of a democratic government. . . . Business in government would ignore the social duties of the government," discussed the memorial to Warren G. Harding, onetime Kiwanian, which has been designed by a Kiwanian architect, built by a Kiwanian construction company, erected with Kiwanian money in Vancouver, B. C. With due respect for the law, the Kiwanis decided to hold their next convention in Montreal--a choice which elicited a demonstration from the famed Montreal Kiltie bagpipers.

Rotarians were hit with snowballs. Rotarians threw snowballs. The snow came in box cars from the virgin peaks of Colorado; bathing beauties, cops, were pelted in the streets of Cleveland, warm with July sunlight; the Rotarians loosed their inhibitions by throwing it around. More inhibitions were launched in a song :

I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home. The summer is hot, the winter is cold, I'm too young to be feeling so old. There'll be a tear in my eye When I bid old Cleveland goodby. Oh dear! I'd rather stay here, I don't want to go home.

It was only after ballets, sing-songs, smokers, pageants, declamations, elections, that they did.

Realtors, whatever it may have been in the past, is now a term synonymous with integrity, ability and fair dealing, redundantly stated one of National Association of Real Estate Boards at a convention in Detroit. Miss Lulu McKibbin presented the association with an olive wood gavel made at a carpenter shop in Nazareth by a boy ward from the U. S.; the game cock brought by the Texas delegation crowed lustily; the San Francisco boys' glee club sang; Winter Haven representatives gave away oranges; six exquisite Negroes with the Tampa stampers sang songs of the southland; girls were hired for the lot sellers to dance with.

Elks will meet next week in Portland, Ore. More than 30 special trains have been chartered. Grand Esquire C. H. Grakelow will lead the parade in which each represented lodge will prance in its own original uniform. Grand Exalted Ruler John G. Price of Columbus, O., will come with an escort on a special train chartered by Detroit lodge No. 34; the Elks will climb snow-capped peaks, swim on Oregon beaches, visit big sawmills, wear reunion buttons.

Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realms, draped in gauze, paraded the streets of Atlantic City, while thousands of the city's jovial sunburned holiday makers peered at their curious garb; at Grand Monarch A. F. Ittner of St. Louis, who strutted in front, at his personal aid, the Cannibal King,* at the Ram of Kamram/-; at the flowing robed Islams of the Hindoo Goosh Grotto of Hamilton, Ontario; at the regal representatives of the 46 other grottos. The Prophets drank orange nip on the million dollar pier; listened to concerts, speeches. From Washington came an airplane, bearing a message from President Coolidge to the Grand Monarch; bore back a message from the Grand Monarch to President Coolidge at his summer home.

*Vice President of a Milwaukee manufacturing firm, long and arduous Kiwanian.

*-buck Negro from Birmingham, Ala.

/- A large goat.