Having perused well the chronicle of the week, the Vigilant Patriot views with alarm:

Eyes "big as baseballs," round and black. (P. 8, col. 2.)

A lady "furry and smelly." (P. 16, col. 1.)

A rude escort who "started in with the very first paragraph and read during the intermission . . . without once stopping." (P. 30, col. 2.)

A city alive with people running this way and that. (P. 11, col. 1.)

A Premier ''without ability and undeserving." (P. 11, col. 3.)

A mustached mouth--once straight--now drooping at the ends. (P. 12, col. 2.)

Andrew J. Volstead clapping his hand to the shoulders of Jesus Christ. (P. 16, col. 1.)