Blasphemy

Jim Manus, Manhattan waiter, had a son by his wife "Comrade Fanny." In a steamingly crowded hall, the son was christened Nikolai Lenin Manus, after which his "social-mother," Mrs. Kate Gitlow, mother of the communist leader, Ben, said these words:

"I now dedicate this baby to the Communist movement and hope he will live to work for freedom in the United States and the dictatorship of the Proletariat all over the world."

Thereupon followed two blasphemies. The Lord's Prayer was rendered as follows:

Our father who art in Russia, hallowed be thy name. Thy dictatorship come. Thy will be done in Russia and all over the world. Give us our daily common sense and forgive our past follies as we forgive our stupefied fellow patriots. Lead us not into the "patriotic" snares, but deliver us from the parasites. Amen.

The Nicene Creed as follows:

I believe in one god, matter and its inherent forces, the father and creator of everything, and the revolutionary spirit of communism that was proclaimed by its great fighters, Marx and Lenin, hallowed by the blood of countless proletarian martyrs.

I believe in one communist commonwealth and profess one baptism, that of communism, and the redemption from the sins of capitalism.

I await the rising of the human machines which will lead them to a happy life and future. Amen.